


Don't Blame Me

by SeasOfTrees



Series: Reputation [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amortentia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, Pining, Polyjuice Potion, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Quidditch, Quidditch Commentator Remus, Quidditch Player Sirius, Remus Sucks at Potions, Smut, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:08:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23709673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeasOfTrees/pseuds/SeasOfTrees
Summary: Sirius plays on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, a love potion is administered at an unfortunate time, and Remus cannot catch a friggin break.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Reputation [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1188122
Comments: 54
Kudos: 442





	1. In Which Libations are Had

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a potions fic. Then I wanted to play with a few headcannons and ideas I'd found from around the internet. This mess is the result of all that.
> 
> Warnings for light smut and a general disregard for 90% of what the cannon says about potions.

Remus had been one of the first to arrive, having to check in on all of the equipment. He’d come down with James and Sirius, who usually tried to get some last minute stretches in before games. Especially this game. Word was, Ravenclaw was strong this year.

He fiddled with the dials and knobs, checked cables, muttered a quick repair spell.

The bleachers around the pitch were starting to crowd with students. Lily plopped into place a few rows in front of him, in the regular Gryffindor seats, and the two exchanged a friendly grin. As the scarlet and navy robes started to take to the air, Lily glanced around, frowning.

 _Where’s Peter?_ she mouthed.

Remus shrugged. Peter had told them to go ahead that morning, but it seemed he hadn’t made an appearance yet, which was odd. But he didn’t have time to worry about that just then.

He flicked the mic on.

“WELCOME EVERYONE, TO THE FIRST GAME OF THE INTER-HOUSE CUP!”

The crowd cheered as the two teams circled the pitch, spiraling up towards their starting positions. James saluted Lily as he passed.

Sirius, beater club in hand, flew just a hair too close to Remus. It’d been a small, unspoken tradition of theirs since Remus took up the commenter position two years before. The scent of Sirius’s shampoo hit him across the face. 

It took a moment for him to recover himself.

“TODAY, WE HAVE RAVENCLAW AND GRYFFINDOR!”

This was obvious, but the crowd lost their shit nonetheless. It was, as always, an easy crowd. 

Remus glanced back at the Gryffindor bleachers, but Peter was still nowhere to be seen.

James and the Ravenclaw captain shook hands. Even from his seat, Remus could see Sirius glaring at Marvin Crossley, the bigger of the two Ravenclaw beaters.

“AND THEY’RE OFF!” Remus announced. “RAVENCLAW TAKES THE QUAFFLE, WITH CHASER ST— AH, BUT THERE’S A BEAUTIFUL INTERCEPTION FROM JAMES POTTER, HOWEVER DOES THAT MAN DO IT?”

Gryffindor cheered as James picked up speed, approaching the goals quickly.

“AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE’S GONNA GO FOR IT! A QUICK TOSS AND — IT’S IN! THAT’S TEN FOR GRYFFINDOR!”

James high-fived Robertson, one of the other chasers, as he flew past and Sirius launched a bludger over towards one of the Ravenclaw chasers as they came in possession of the quaffle. The chaser dodged it just in time, and a Ravenclaw beater smashed the ball back over towards Sirius.

“AND IT APPEARS THAT OUR BEATERS ARE ALREADY AT IT, WITH IRWIN MAKING A _CLEARLY_ POINTED ATTACK TOWARDS MR. BLACK, A FELLOW BEATER. A STRATEGICALLY IRRELEVANT AND RATHER MEAN SPIRITED OFFENSIVE, I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE.”

“Lupin…” McGonnegal began. She’d already moved to her typical position, right behind him.

“ANYWAY,” Remus continued, leaning forward. “RAVENCLAW COMING AROUND NOW, MAKING ANOTHER ATTEMPT AND… AND… OH, DEAR, IT APPEARS THEY DON’T MAKE IT. WHAT A SHAME.”

“Lupin,” McGonnegal said, “unbiased, fair…”

“WHAT AN UTTER SHAME THAT THAT SLOPPY AND UTTERLY INELEGANT MOVE DID NOT CATCH A LUCKY WIND AND GET PAST THE CATLIKE REFLEXES OF OUR — I MEAN—” He cleared his throat dramatically into the mic, “ _GRYFFINDOR’S_ KEEPER.”

The crowd snickered. Except, of course, Ravenclaw.

“AND… OH DEAR, _WHAT_ A SHAME. GRYFFINDOR IS IN POSSESSION OF THE QUAFFLE _AGAIN_! WHEN WILL THEY LEARN TO SHARE?”

“NEVER!” came the cry from the Gryffindor stands.

“GRYFFINDOR CHASER LYDIA SPENCER NOW IN POSSESSION OF THE QUAFFLE, AND IT LOOKS LIKE RAVENCLAW’S TAKING ANOTHER SWING AT HER BUT… AH! SHE DODGES IT AS NEATLY AS SHE DODGES GILES McCLINTOCK’S AFFECTIONS.”

“Lupin…”

“SORRY, PROFESSOR. AND THERE’S ADELAIDE EAST GOING FOR GRYFFINDOR’S MIDDLE GOAL… WILL SHE? AAAGH — I MEAN — YAY! RAVENCLAW’S FIRST GOAL. ONLY TOOK THEM —”

“Remus…”

“TEN POINTS FOR RAVENCLAW, ANYWAY.”

The game, for all its build up, went by fairly quickly. Gryffindor was already holding a hearty lead by the time that —

“EURYDICE McKAY HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH! 150 POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR WINS!”

-/-

Technically, Remus wasn’t allowed in the team’s changing room. Practically, no one cared.

They greeted him with cheers and pats on the back, and Remus complimented them on their good plays.

Sirius was in the corner. His shirt was off, because of course it was.

He grinned when Remus walked by. He was doing some sort of stretch that mostly just seemed to involve flexing his biceps and arching his back.

Remus wanted to die, just a little.

“They really gave you hell today, didn’t they?” Remus asked, trying not to look too hard at the positively lovely way the reddened light of the tent played on the contours of Sirius’s pecs.

“Yeah, well I gave it right back!” Sirius said, all bravado, loud enough for everyone to hear and let out another cheer.

James, who’d been recounting everything he did right to Lily (also not technically allowed, also present after every game), was scanning the room. “Where’s Peter?”

“Dunno,” Remus shrugged, though he was starting to worry. “He wasn’t at the game.”

“I’m sure he’ll turn up soon enough,” Sirius said, doing a new stretch that seemed to involve rolling his shoulders and puffing out his chest. “He always does.”

Remus gave him a weak smile, and turned back towards the general crowd. Not because he wanted to stop looking at Sirius — he really _really_ wanted to keep looking at Sirius.

Ever since he was thirteen and Sirius had invited him to watch Quidditch practice and Remus discovered that watching Sirius swing his bat towards bludgers did Things to him, Remus had really wanted to keep looking at Sirius.

Which was a problem.

“Guess I’ll go and see what he’s been up to, just in case,” Remus said, too casually, heading towards the flap of the tent.

And it was definitely the three years of pining that made him see it. It was all that wistful thinking and silliness and that time he actually really seriously ripped apart a daisy while whispering, “ _he loves me, he loves me not…_ ” 

But if it weren’t for all of that, and if Remus wasn’t certain he was the last person someone like Sirius would ever fall for, he could have sworn that Sirius looked a little forlorn at his departure.

-/-

Finding Peter wasn’t hard. Remus stopped by their dormitory to drop off his things, and Peter was on his bed reading some muggle magazine.

“You missed the game,” Remus said, stating the obvious.

“I know,” Peter said. “Did we win?”

“We did,” Remus said, smiling. “Which you would have known if you’d gone. Why didn’t you? It’s not normal for you to skip the match.”

He produced a small vial from somewhere within his robes and presented it to Remus. “I was meeting with someone to get this.”

Remus frowned, but sniffed the vial. A strange combination of scents swirled up towards him: woodsmoke and old books, the oil Sirius used on his leather jacket. Honeydukes chocolate, Sirius’s hair, soil in early spring.

He felt an urge to bathe in the stuff. It made no sense. Those things all shouldn’t have smelled good together, but Remus found himself leaning in.

Closer and closer and closer…

Peter corked the vial and stashed it away, face splitting in a satisfied grin.

“What is that stuff?” Remus asked. His voice was still raw from talking for the last hour, but it sounded ragged even to his ears. His cheeks felt hot.

“Amortentia,” Peter said, voice low. Remus must’ve looked confused — and he was — because Peter leaned in whispered, “the most powerful love potion in the world. It smells like whatever attracts you.”

The rest of Remus felt as hot as his face, so he decided to change the subject. “So… what’re you going to do with it?” Remus asked.

“Not sure,” Peter said, swishing the strange liquid around in its little vial. The opalescent sheen of it caught the afternoon light and tossed back a messy, silvered rainbow. “I think I might just keep it around. Maybe sell it. Could use a few galleons.”

Remus let out a little amused grunt. “Just don’t give it to James, alright? If Lily figured out he gave her a love potion, she’d kill him.”

“And the Potter supply chain of chocolate will dry up,” Peter said.

“A tragedy,” Remus confirmed with a nod.

“Don’t worry,” Peter said, pocketing the vial. He stood up and gathered his books. “He’d tell her where he got it, and I prefer my balls attached to my body, all things being equal.”

“By the way,” Peter asked, heading towards the door, “what did you smell?”

“Aww, c’mon, Wormtail,” Remus said, willing a smile onto his face, “a lady never tells.”

-/-

The bludger connected with Sirius’s bat with a satisfying _bang_ , and Remus’s attention was momentarily pulled from his transfiguration homework. The ball sailed through the right goalpost.

“Woooo!” James cheered from his position over by the chasers. “That was great! Nelson, think you can get the center one?”

Nelson, a brawny fourth year who’d just joined the team that autumn, slammed the other bludger into the middle goal with seemingly no effort. The rest of the team _whooped_.

Remus smiled.

“What’s that grin for?” Sirius asked, ducking down to get their faces level.

Remus felt his cheeks heat. “Nothing,” he said.

“Nothing?” Sirius smirked, his face getting closer. “Why do I not believe that?”

Remus rolled his eyes and looked up. God, they were so close. “Think you’ll be able to keep up with Nelson next game? It’s Slytherin. Their beaters are massive.”

“Good sir, are you doubting my abilities?” Sirius feigned offence. “You do recall how I completely _obliterated_ the Ravenclaw offensive two weeks ago, right?”

“Yeah,” Remus said with a shrug, “but Nelson just got it through the middle ring.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes. A bludger made a hissing approach, and Sirius swung his bat in a brutal arc. It sailed through the middle hoop.

“Ayyy!” Remus cheered, somewhat sarcastically, raising his quill and parchment like they were pennants.

Sirius’s eyes were still trained in the rings general direction, a bit too long. His face was a bit too dark. Remus followed his gaze, and understood.

Two heads of dark hair were walking by the pitch, engaged in what appeared to be a deep conversation.

Snape and Regulus had been spending a lot more time together than they used to. It was getting to Sirius. Not that he said anything. Not that any of them said anything.

“I have to go back to practice,” Sirius said, turning away from Remus and back towards the team. A bludger came towards him and he hit it louder than before. The _crack_ echoed through the pitch.

-/-

“So,” Sirius said later that night, leaning against one of the posters surrounding Remus’s bed that night, “what do you think? Hogsmeade? Tonight? One of the bands from Edinburgh made it up here and they’ll be playing at the Three Broomsticks tonight. Thought we’d go and celebrate the win.”

“Which band?” Remus asked, closing his book.

“Who cares?” Sirius said, smiling. “Could use a distraction.”

He didn’t say what for. Remus didn’t ask.

“James and Peter coming too?”

“No,” Sirius said. “James had a thing and Peter doesn’t like live music. It’d just be us.”

A sharp, stupid thrill moved through Remus’s body. _Just us_. “Alright. But they’ll know we’re students out past curfew,” he said.

Sirius’s grin grew more self-satisfied. “I bought some polyjuice potion off a 7th year.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, excitement brewing up inside of him. “Okay,” he drew the word out. “So who are we going as?”

“Earnest Ruffmunsious and Fredrick Oglethorpe,” Sirius said, his posh cadence lending the rather cumbersome names a sort of antiquarian grandeur.

Remus snorted. “I’ve never heard of them.”

“That’s because they don’t exist,” Sirius explained with a mischievous quirk of his lips. “Last time I was in London I nicked some hair from a few random muggles. If we just wear normal robes, no one will have any clue who we are.”

Remus laughed. “That’s absolutely mental. I’m in.”

“Beautiful! You wanna be Freddie or Ernie?”

-/-

“Couldn’t have found some younger subjects?” Remus muttered as they strolled down the streets of Hogsmeade. His ankles dragged up along the worn leather of his shoes every time he took a step. The newspaper he’d been using to cushion his temporarily smaller feet was doing nothing.

Sirius twitched his bushy brown mustache, a habit he’d picked up during the twenty minutes that had passed since he’d acquired one. “I did my best. I for one think you look like a distinguished gentleman. I’d buy a hat from you.”

Remus let out a derisive laugh, his beer gut straining against his robes. They’d been building up backstories during the trip to Hogsmeade. Remus (or rather, Ernie) was a hatmaker from Bristol, and Sirius (or rather, Freddie) was his cousin, who owned a bookshop in Kent. Or something like that — they’d started developing other theories about one another’s characters — Freddie was a secret agent from the ministry and there was some speculation that Ernie might work as a gigolo on the side. 

“Oh yes,” Remus had said when Sirius told him his alter ego was a rent boy, “who wouldn’t want this?” and he’d gestured towards his rather ill-kept middle aged body.

“Quite,” Sirius had said with a nod.

They’d also made many grand plans for what they would do while under their assumed identities. Sirius had made lots of lewd suggestions that involved parties and elderly women. Remus himself was partial to a handful of schemes that involved stealing a car and engaging in a pub crawl across the Highlands.

But when they finally arrived at the Three Broomsticks, they just quietly slipped to a table towards the back. The place was already nearly full, and the only spot they could manage was a tiny, cramped round table in the corner, near the bathrooms.

Remus didn’t mind much. It was an intimate spot, despite the crowd trickling in and the occasional visitor to the loo.

“I’ll go get us some drinks,” Remus said, earning a grin from Sirius. The smile was easier to look at directly when Sirius was wearing the body of a middle-aged bookseller, which was somewhat reassuring.

He elbowed his way through the crowd, noting with some satisfaction that people were quicker to move out of his way as a rather large man than they ever had been when he was a gangly teenage boy. A couple engaging in some rather intimate conversation at the bar gave him a dirty look when he pressed his considerable girth into the barstool beside them.

The barmaid was rather far away, assembling a tray of pitchers and pints before a waitress spirited it away. Remus glanced nervously at the line of beer taps and the shelves of bottles. Shit. Normally he’d just get a butterbeer, but now there were so many _options_. And he’d forgotten to ask Sirius what he’d wanted.

“What’ll it be, love?” the barmaid asked, leaning into a bar rag.

It took Remus a moment to realize she was talking to him.

“Uh…” he looked over her shoulder and picked the first bottle he saw. “I’ll have two… Kelpie Liquors… uh…” his brain groped desperately for some adjective he’d read in a book or something… anything… “neat?”

Her eyebrow raised as the rest of her face remained the same. “You sure?”

“Uh… on the rocks?”

She frowned. “You don’t want me to mix it with anything?”

“What would you recommend?” Remus asked. That was a normal question, right?

She just smiled. “I’ll make you something nice, love. Two, you said?”

“Yeah I’m here —” he coughed, noticing his voice had been rising a tic. “I’m here with my mate,” he jabbed a thumb towards the table Sirius was, he hoped, still seated at.

“Ah, shall I put you on Horace’s tab, then?”

“Hmmm?” Remus glanced behind him and felt his stomach drop. Sirius, still where he had been a while before, was now sharing the table with their potions master. Slughorn appeared to be in the middle of some story, the pint clutched in his hand sending foam in every direction as his hands helped him illustrate the narrative.

Sirius flicked some of the foam off the corner of his mustache, his eyes meeting Remus’s across the pub. They weren’t really his eyes, and it was dark, and he was far away, but Remus could still read them. _Help_.

“Uh, actually I’ll just pay for this round right now. What’ll it be?”

She gave him the total, and it was pretty much all that he had, but he handed her the money anyway. In a few moments she came back with matching glasses, both containing some strange green liquid.

“Thank you,” Remus said, and he shuffled away.

By the bar, the band was starting to set up, and the sounds of microphones and tuning instruments followed him as he returned to his seat.

“Ah!” Slughorn said, casting his arms wide again, “you must be Earnest! Your friend here was just telling me about you! Pleasure to meet you, I’m Horace Slughorn.” He extended the hand that wasn’t grasping a pint glass.

“Uh, likewise,” Remus said, deepening his voice and taking the man’s hand. It was cold and clammy. He wasn’t sure his felt any better.

“So, how _is_ the hat making business these days?” Slughorn asked, leaning forward. “You know, I used to have a student … oh, years ago … who was in the _hat making_ business. Top notch. Only milliner the Minister of Magic would go to for _years_ . Still sends me the occasional letter, and always sends me my favorite cordial around Christmastime. Make me a fine, fine hat as well. Beautiful purple plumes, warm as could be… oh, a fine piece. Wonderful. And you said your name was Ruffmunsious? Any relation to the Cheshire Ruffmunsiouses? I had one of them in my club years ago. Best beater Hufflepuff produced for decades. Nearly made the national team, too. But then he got that dreadful wrist injury and had to retire. Nasty business. I believe he’s down working for the ministry these days. Muggle artifacts department, I think. Had him round for tea a few years ago. He married a delightful young woman from Holland. In fact I _believe_ his eldest will be starting here in a few years. No doubt he’ll be a Hufflepuff, too. They do tend to run in the families, don’t they? Well, I’m sure he’ll be successful as his father, regardless. Now where was, I? Oh yes…”

As Slughorn prattled on, Sirius took a swig of his drink, and shot Remus another look. That one, too, was easy to read. It said, _what the fuck is this_?

Remus took a small sip and had to force his face into neutrality as something that tasted like burnt sugar and seaweed hit his tongue. “Mmmm,” he hummed, disguising his disgust at the drink as interest in whatever it was Slughorn was saying. 

“So what years were you fine gentlemen? Forty-three? Forty two? Can’t say I recognize you.”

“Been so many years, I can hardly remember,” Sirius said with an affable smile so large it dipped up into his mustache. “How’s it changed since the old days? Still lots of troublemakers?”

Remus kicked him under the table. Sirius just tossed him a bushy grin.

“Oh, of course!” Slughorn laughed, unaware of their silent conversation. “What fun is a school without its pranksters, eh?”

“Any particularly talented ones?”

“Well,” Slughorn leaned forward. The music had started and so they had to lean in close to hear each other. “There is a merry band of Gryffindors that make no small amount of messes. Talented boys, each and every one. Well,” he amended, “nearly each one. They’ve got this one tagalong who doesn’t appear to bring much into the fold. And of course Lupin hasn’t exactly got the potion master's touch, but one can’t be good at everything, of course.”

Remus felt his face heat up, but Sirius was still charging ahead.

“But they have a knack for mischief?”

“Oh yes!” Slughorn assured with a delighted nod. “Why just the other week they enchanted all of the furniture in the History of Magic classroom to stick to the ceiling. I heard it took Professor Bones nearly two days to notice!”

Sirius laughed. That one had been his idea.

“Princes of the school, really. Typical Gryffindor fashion, of course. Must be the center of attention.” He rolled his eyes, but his expression was fond. “No offense, gentlemen, if that was your house. What was your house?”

“Hufflepuff,” Sirius said, right as Remus said, “Ravenclaw.”

“Ah, well. No harm done, no harm done. But truly, they are something else. And the gossip… well, I’m sure you aren’t interested in school gossip. You know us teachers, worse than fishermen’s wives.”

“Oh, I can assure you, I am,” Sirius said, leaning forward further. “And there’s no harm in it, eh, Horace?” he slapped Slughorn’s arm, making the man’s fresh pint (a waitress had come by with another at some point) splash a little on the table. “No students around tonight.”

“That’s true,” Slughorn laughed, mopping the spilled beer up with a stray napkin. “Well, if you really want to hear it...”

“Desperately,” Sirius said with an exaggerated roll of his head. He laughed to pass it off as sarcasm, but Remus glanced down at his glass. Half of his drink was gone. Remus’s was probably close to that level as well, now that he thought of it. The only way to get rid of the liquor’s horrible aftertaste was to drink more of it.

“Oh alright, alright,” Slughorn said jovially, pulling his seat closer to the table. “Well, there’s four of them in total as I said — Potter, Pettigrew, Lupin, and Black. Lupin’s a halfblood, Welsh muggle mother, father published a few interesting papers back in the day. Nothing too impressive about the family, but the boy’s a rather gifted student… well, except in potions. _Black_ ,” and he said the word with so much emphasis Sirius recoiled a tiny, tiny bit. “Black’s a fascinating case. You’ve heard of the Blacks, of course? Old, old family.”

They both nodded. Of course they had. Everyone had.

“Well, Sirius, he’s the black sheep, if you’ll excuse the rather unfortunate pun.”

They excused it.

“Sorted into Gryffindor. Brilliant and handsome as the rest of his family, but never could quite get on with them, eh? Moved in with Potter — you know the Potters for their hair potion, of course? Boy comes from new money. Good student, handy with a cauldron. And Pettigrew’s… there, I suppose. Never struck me as a Gryffindor type, to be frank, but I’m not the Sorting Hat. Not that you could tell, with all these wrinkles,” he let out another laugh and downed some more of his pint.

“Well,” Remus said in his assumed accent — or rather, what he assumed was his assumed accent. He was feeling rather warm, and fuzzy. “I’m sure they value that friend anyway. I’m sure he has his own talents.”

“Oh, yes. Of course, of course,” Slughorn said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Sounds like an interesting collection of young men,” Sirius said. “Though I can’t say that’s terribly gossipy. You got my hopes up, Horace.”

“Ah, but I wasn’t done,” Slughorn said. “I just wanted to let you know who the characters were. Now, Potter has been chasing a student of mine — marvelously talented young lady named Lily Evans — she doesn’t come from a family, she’s a muggleborn. Best in my class, if you believe it. Anyway, _Potter’s_ been in love with her for years, so he rarely was a good source for much gossip. No broken hearts or anything, boring. You know how entertaining young love is, and it is too much fun to pair a young man up with the girl he’s been fawning over. Oh, I get a good chuckle every time. Pettigrew’s got a string of girlfriends, for some reason. Could never figure that out. But Black and Lupin, _that’s_ the interesting part.” He struck the table with an open palm, happy to have arrived at his thesis.

Sirius’s face was neutral. “How so?”

“Well,” Slughorn leaned, if it was possible, even closer in. They could smell the ale on his breath. “Word among the teachers is that the two young gentlemen... _are an item._ ”

The fuzzy warm feeling was gone.

“And there’s _nothing_ wrong with that! People can love whomever they wish to love, I say,” Slughorn continued, misreading their discomfort.

“Of… of course,” Sirius said, clearing his throat. “So… uh…” he cast a quick glance towards Remus, then away. “What led you to that conclusion?”

“Oh,” Slughorn waved a hand, reassured that they had no objection, “things have been going on for _years_ . The other professors love chatting about them. All these sideways glances when they think the other one isn’t looking. Always fretting over each other. Sneaking off all the time. Nothing concrete of course, it’s possible that they aren’t but there’s so much _longing_ honestly it can get a bit ridiculous. Lupin’s in the hospital wing a lot — clumsy boy, really — and Black can never be far from him. Fakes all sorts of illnesses so he’ll get committed too. It’s _hil_ arious. You alright there, chaps?”

“Yes, oh yes,” Remus said, forcing a laugh. “Nothing like young love, eh?” He elbowed Sirius in the ribs, and Sirius took that as his cue to laugh as well.

“We’ve got a pool going,” Slughorn said conspiratorially.

“Wait, really?” Remus asked.

“Oh yes. I have twenty galleons on someone finding the pair snogging in a broom cupboard. Minerva — you must’ve had Minerva, right? — she thinks that Black has some elaborate production planned. She believes Black will announce his love to the school by the end of the year.” Slughorn laughed. “Now, that one won’t make me a gnut, but I do so hope it happens. Black has _such a gift_ for pyrotechnics.”

The Black in question looked like he wanted to dissolve into his faded flannel robes. “Well, that does sound like quite the show. Ah…” he glanced towards Remus, as if Remus knew what to say.

Remus did not know what to say. 

“And what if they aren’t… well… involved?”

“Well, no harm in a little gossip, right? And really, I know it sounds silly but you haven’t _seen_ these two. All day with the mooning looks and the love-lorn eyes. For _years_ it’s been this silly song and dance. If they haven’t figured it out yet, it’s their own delusion, nothing else. I’m also planning on testing it soon,” he said with a conspiratorial wink.

“Are you?” Sirius asked. “... how?”

“Have you gentlemen ever heard of a potion called amortentia?”

“Of course,” Remus said jovially, perhaps forcefully. “Most powerful love potion in the world, if my potions education serves me.”

“It is indeed, ten points to Ravenclaw!” Slughorn laughed. “Anyway, I’ll be teaching the unit on it to their class soon. It always tends to bring these things to light. We shall see.”

-/-

“That was…” Remus let the sentence trail off. God, what was he supposed to say? The tail end of his thought dangled in the air between them. He wished Sirius would pick it up. Say something. Voice an opinion. Anything.

“Slughorn, _really_ ,” Sirius said with a noncommittal sort of exasperation.

There was an uneasy silence as they trudged back towards the school. They were on a long, deserted path, just behind the treeline but not so deep in the woods they had to worry about anything besides their horribly oversized clothes. Remus had to hitch his trousers up every five or so steps. Sirius’s fingers traced his phantom mustache. Their alter-egos’ clothing sagged sadly on their bodies, dragging heavy on the ground.

“Think I should grow one of my own?” Sirius said after a while.

Remus cocked an eyebrow. “ _Can_ you grow one?”

“Of course I can!” Sirius said, defensive. He redid his belt again, tighter. “I think I’d look rather dashing.”

“If you say so…” Remus said, wrapping his oversized coat around himself.

“Mmmm.”

Silence. Remus’s eyes moved towards the sky. The cloud cover had gotten thicker since they’d left the Three Broomsticks.

“Moony?”

“Yeah?

“You’ve… you’ve smelled amortentia before, right?”

“I have, yeah.”

“So you know what it smells like for you, then?”

Remus nodded. He could feel his pulse in his temples.

“So… what does it smell like for you?”

Remus lied. “Chocolate, mint leaves, pine needles… what about you?”

“Petrol and whiskey and weed,” Sirius said, offhandedly. The way he did when he was lying.

It made Remus feel brave. “So,” he began in a casual sort of tone, his heart thumping in his temples, “what are we going to do about this teacher situation?”

“Mmmm?”

“Their bet? Should we play along or…?”

“Or?” Sirius arched a brow.

“Or.” Remus shrugged. “I mean…”

“What are you thinking?” Sirius asked, and he sounded… maybe… eager?

“I mean,” Remus started again, “do you really look at me with _longing_?” He smiled like he was telling a joke, which he wasn’t.

Sirius stopped walking. “Dunno, Moony, do you look at me with _longing_?” He copied Remus’s rather lazy rendition of Slughorn’s accent.

They stared at each other, though every part of Remus dedicated to self-preservation screamed for him to turn away. Moments passed unnoticed as they stared each other down. Their silent game of chicken.

Remus glanced down at Sirius’s lips. It was something he did a lot, sometimes while also looking at Sirius with _longing_. He shouldn’t have been doing it in that exact moment. That was a mistake.

Except if he hadn’t, Sirius never would have kissed him.

He’d become so focused on the tension of the moment that he didn’t process Sirius’s movement until there were fingers in his hair and lips against his own.

His senses snapped back to action so quickly he had to muscle through the whiplash to return Sirius’s attentions. Just as Sirius was about to withdraw, Remus pressed into the kiss.

Remus’s hand went to Sirius’s hair, which was silken and long and _perfect_. Sirius bit his lip slightly and Remus gasped. A tongue teased along the indent where Sirius’s teeth had been. Remus shuddered.

He was slightly taller than Sirius, and Remus got the feeling Sirius wasn’t used to kissing people who were taller than him. Sirius tightened his arms around Remus’s shoulders, and his strength accidentally unbalanced them and sent them to the ground.

They landed with a few undignified _oof_ s, and Sirius laughed, climbing on top of Remus and bringing their lips together again.

Remus took to his new position wonderfully. His fingers traced the beautiful, graceful lines of Sirius’s muscular back. Sirius sighed against his lips and pressed himself more completely against Remus.

He was hard beneath the mess of old men’s clothes, Remus could feel it. He groaned, his hips pushing up against Sirius’s.

Their movements were frantic, messy, natural. A rock was digging into Remus’s back. Sirius was starting to get heavy on top of him. He didn’t care. He didn’t care at all. He cupped Sirius’s cheek and their lips parted for a moment. Sirius smiled down at him, still moving. Gasps and huffs and choked moans and then…

They panted against each other on the ground for some time. 

It started to rain.

They jumped up and started running along the path, giggling all the way. Sirius tripped on his trousers at one point. Remus had to double back to grab his fallen coat. They shook the water off like dogs when they made it back into the castle, and Sirius pressed Remus against the wall for another long, blissful kiss.

Together they went back to the dormitories, and Remus felt light and young and daring and so, so, so lucky.

-/-

Waking up the following morning felt like waking up to a dream.

The grey light of the early morning hit the ceiling hard and the shadows of the crack in the ceiling’s plaster were the same exact shape and size they’d been since his very first night there as a first year.

The haze of memories from last night came pressing in again, and Remus’s fingers went to his lips, certain they’d be a different shape or texture after the night before.

But they were the same. Everything was the same. In those brief, liminal moments between wakefulness and sleep, Remus wondered at how precise the copying job had been. How perfectly everything had been replicated. If he didn’t know better, he’d think he wasn’t living in some alternative universe where Sirius Black kissed him.

“Mooney!”

A pillow hit him in the face.

“Mmmmmm,” he groaned.

“Get up!” James’s form loomed over Remus’s bed. “Get up!”

The pillow was lifted from his face, only to be spiked back down onto his head.

“Staaaaah…” Remus protested weakly.

“You’re going to miss breakfast. Sirius, help me. Grab his left, I’ll get his right.”

Cold hands grasped Remus’s ankles, and he scrambled to grab the posters of his bed. His reflexes were just a touch too slow, and he was pulled to the floor.

“Aaaaaaaaaah…” Remus said, curling up with the blanket that had made the fall with him. He didn’t want to leave his weird universe.

A toe nudged his ass. “You’ve already overslept. If you don’t go downstairs in the next twenty minutes, you won’t get breakfast. Then you’ll be all bitchy and hungry and I have herbology with you in two hours so _get up_ ,” James said in his Mum Voice.

Remus hated that voice.

Remus muttered something that, in his head, involved _house elves_ and _favor_ and _brunch_ , but that, judging by Sirius’s lack of a response and James’s lack of a _getting his toe the fuck away from Remus’s ass_ , didn’t quite translate over to conscious ears.

“Just go, Prongs,” Sirius said after a bit, and Remus’s whole body tingled. “I’ll make sure he gets fed before you have to deal with him again.”

James made some rather hen-like clucking sound, and walked away.

A door closed and Sirius’s body was a whole lot closer to Remus that it had been moments before.

“Hey,” he whispered, voice soft. A thumb brushed hair away from Remus’s temple. Remus trembled. “Moony?”

Remus peeked out from his cocoon. Sirius was there, pale and beautiful in the morning light. He looked at Remus in a way that felt as intimate as a touch. “Did you… sleep well?”

Remus smiled. 

Sirius did that thing he did when he was anxious, that particular twitching of shoulders. 

“I was trying to,” Remus said, “then someone started assaulting me with pillows and I was torn from my bed.”

Sirius stooped down and brought their lips together.

Remus grinned against Sirius’s mouth, his fingers going to his hair. He was him, and this was his life, and everything was exactly as he’d wish it to be.

-/-

Which is probably why he should have known it wouldn’t last.

Remus was carried through the day with a nervous excitement he’d rarely been able to feel. He couldn’t concentrate on anything. In every class, his thoughts would wander to Sirius. Sirius’s body, Sirius’s lips… all the things he might now get to do with Sirius. Three years of repressed fantasies and shameful desires, and now maybe, _maybe_ he could get what he wanted.

And he wanted this, and that, and definitely that, and he’d always wanted to try that. Or that. _Or that…_

He was thankful for long, loose robes and large, thick tables. He did a lot of deep breathing.

He shared the last class of the day with James and Peter, and they walked back to their room together.

Sirius was on the floor, looking tousled and gorgeous and perfect. He turned around to face them, and his lips spread in a massive, dopey smile.

Remus returned the expression, he felt so warm all over… maybe he and Sirius could make an excuse to slip away that night… figure out whether or not to tell the others. Surely they’d tell the others, he thought, though he’d have to talk about it with Sirius first.

God, what if Sirius wanted to hide it? That would be…

“What’s got you looking all sappy?” James asked, tossing his bag onto the floor.

Sirius, who’d been staring into space, grinned wider. “I am in _love_ …”

Remus felt tingles of electricity all over his body. Shit. _Shit_ . Love? Did Sirius just say _love_ ? What would he… no… was he in love with him too? Why was Sirius just saying this out of the blue… _love_?

James blinked. “Alright… who with?” James glanced over at Peter and Remus, a _can you believe this?_ expression on his face.

_Oh god, oh god, oh Merlin and Morgana and fuck fuck fuck…_

“Who do you _think_?” Sirius said, standing. He stumbled a bit and steadied himself on the bed post.

“Are you drunk?” James asked. Peter knelt to pick up a bottle Remus had never seen before. It was about half full of what looked like whiskey.

“Mmmm…” Sirius hummed, dancing with an invisible partner. He swooped over in Remus’s direction, and Remus had to press himself against Peter’s bed to avoid getting knocked over. “Drunk on love. I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before…”

The other three exchanged confused looks. Remus’s stomach tightened. Something was wrong. Peter sniffed the bottle and blanched.

“Where’d you get this?” he asked.

“Dunno,” Sirius said, “it was by the door when I arrived. Figured I’d start Friday night early. God, James, I _get_ it now, you know? What you were always banging on about.”

James gave him a pained look. “What?”

“Green eyes… loveliest green eyes.”

Remus cocked an eyebrow. He wasn’t sure his eyes had ever been described as lovely.

“That red hair…”

Well, he guessed, his hair was reddish in some light.

“And God, the best ass in the _world_.”

Remus was certain he was running a fever.

“Who are you talking about?” James asked. “And what do you mean, the bottle was just _there_?”

“The most perfect person in the world,” Sirius said, twirling his invisible partner. “Lily Evans.”


	2. In Which Schemes are Devised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for (very) light violence, and surprise kisses.

The entire world was a glass window, and a bludger just went through it.

James looked like he’d just been kicked. “What?”

“Lily Evans! I’m in love with Lily Evans! God, that feels so good to say — I’M IN LOVE WITH—”

James tackled Sirius. The two landed on one of the beds. “What the  _ fuck _ did you just say?” James hissed. “Where did this… how long have you felt like that?”

“James!” Peter squeaked, holding up the bottle. “Stop it! He doesn’t know what he’s doing. There’s a love potion in here.”

“What?” James looked over his shoulder. Sirius’s elbow connected with his stomach. “ _ Agh _ !”

Remus felt like he was underwater. Everything was cold and blurry and distant.

Lily?

“I need to go find her,” Sirius said, heading towards the door. “I need to tell her how I feel!”

“No you don’t!” James grabbed Sirius, who started pushing against him. “Remus? Bit of help here?”

This was just his luck. This was just his  _ fucking _ luck.

“Remus! Oi!  _ Bit of help here _ ?”

“Sorry.”

The two of them managed to wrangle Sirius down onto one of the beds. Peter cast a quick charm that sent ropes shooting out across his body, securing him to the frame.

Sirius started to struggle against the ropes. “Let me go! You’re just jealous because you know she’d choose me over you! I’ll fight you for her! Wizard’s duel! Dawn! I’ll—” Peter had waved his wand again, and a similar rope wrapped appeared around his mouth.

“I can’t believe this,” James whispered to himself.

“It’s…” Remus started, but James was already headed towards the door. He took the bottle from Peter as he passed, throwing their door open.

Unfortunately, Lily was in the common room, studying. 

Fortunately, she was there alone.

James looked like he had a lot to say, but in the end he just gave Lily a forlorn look and said, “ _ Evans _ !” He held the whiskey bottle up like it was evidence in a trail, which in a way it was.

Lily looked unsurprised, whether because she was guilty or because she was used to James’s eccentricities, it was unclear. “ _ Potter _ !?” she parroted in a mocking rendition of his tone.

“Evans,” James said, waving his hands in exasperation. “How…  _ why _ … why would you do this?!”

“Because McGonagall would be sad if I didn’t,” Lily said, setting down her quill. “Or has something other than my transfiguration homework got you upset?”

“James is trying to figure out why after drinking that bottle of whiskey, Sirius is suddenly in love with you,” Peter put in, his hand on James’s shoulder.

“Wait,” Lily pushed her chair out. “Wait, wait, wait. Someone gave Sirius a love potion?”

They all nodded.

“And he’s in love with  _ me _ ?”

They all nodded again. Remus felt like he was going to be sick.

Her gaze flitted between the three of them, unbelieving. “You can’t honestly think that I was the one who did that. Why would I want  _ Sirius Black _ of all people enamored with me? He’s insufferable enough as is.”

James looked relieved. “Yeah. Of course. Never would have guessed.”

“Where is he now?” Lily asked.

“We might have tied him to the bed,” James said, rubbing the back of his neck. “He was rather… adamant about seeing you.”

“Thanks for that,” Lily said, stricken. “So do we have any idea who might have done it?”

Remus looked over at Peter, who seemed like he was going to vomit. “Did you… did you find someone to sell it to?”

Peter shook his head.

“Sell what?” James asked, frowning.

Peter scratched the back of his neck. “I might have had a bottle of amortentia that I was going to sell…”

“You  _ what _ ?” Lily hissed. “Peter… wha — what were you  _ thinking _ ? Who did you sell it to?”

“I didn’t sell it to anyone!” Peter cried, hands up in surrender. “But this morning… well… it went missing.”

“Missing from where?” Remus asked. “Where were you hiding it?”

“In my robes,” Peter said. “I wanted to keep it on me to… keep it safe.” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“So we have no clue who took it, then?” Lily asked. “None at all?”

“No…”

“How long does it take for it to wear off?” James asked. “As I remember, love potions don’t last long.”

Peter looked like he’d shrunk to half his size in the last five minutes. “This one’s a… special formulation.”

“How long?” Remus croaked.

“About… about a month.”

Lily and James looked horrified. “A month?!”

Remus was thankful he hadn’t had dinner yet. His mind emptied and a gray stretch of nothingness gobbled up his foreseeable future. A million plans he hadn’t known he’d made vanished.  _ A month. A month. A month. _

James, however, was already in problem solving mode. “So we’ll have to figure something out… We have to protect him from making an ass of himself in front of the whole school.”

Lily scoffed. “About six years too late for that, Potter.” She looked over at Remus. “Are you okay? You look a bit pale.”

Remus cleared his throat. A sort of autopilot kicked in. He had to keep it together. “Oh, just… thinking. I guess we’ll have to cover for him. I mean, we can’t send him to the medical wing… not until we know what happened.”

Peter shook his head.

“And we can’t have him wandering around…”

“And… oh fuck,” James looked more horrified than he’d been all month.

“What?” Remus asked.

“We’re playing Hufflepuff in two weeks. Slytherin in a month. If he’s not back to normal by then…”

“Seriously? Situation like this, and that’s what you’re worried about?” Lily asked.

“It’s on the list, Evans. It’s on the list. Alright,” James said, taking a deep breath. He clapped his hands together. “We’ll figure this out. We’ve been in worse situations.”

“Have we?” Peter asked.

“Sure,” James said with a shrug. “I mean, nothing comes immediately to mind. But we are men — and women—”

“Oh,” Lily said, “so now I’m involved?” But she didn’t look displeased. In fact, she looked unjustifiably bloody pleased.

“Men — women —  _ people _ of action. And we’ll make it work. We’ll get creative. It’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine _. _ ”

-/-

Remus should have picked paper. Why had he picked scissors? James always picked rock. Ever since first year, he’d always picked rock.

He and Sirius were alone in the dormitory. Three days ago, this would have been great.

But it wasn’t three days ago, it was now. And now meant he had to sneak up on Sirius with a pair of shears, trying to figure out which lock of hair he could most easily spare.

“How long is James planning on keeping me in here?” Sirius whined, springing up from his seat. “I’m not a prisoner! You can’t keep me locked up like this!”

Remus jumped back, just barely managing to get the shears out of the way before Sirius accidentally skewered himself. “It’ll… I think it’ll be a while. Waiting for the love potion —”

“I keep telling you,” Sirius snapped, turning erratically. He moved differently those days. Like he was drunk and also being electrocuted, all at once. “I’m not under the effects of a love potion. James is just jealous. He’s keeping me from her because he knows she’d choose me over him any day.”

“Right,” Remus said lamely. They’d had this conversation twenty times since he’d arrived. He’d arrived twenty minutes ago. “Of course. But if you really love her, there’s no problem in waiting, right? Your feelings would stay the same.”

“But why wait? You’re only young once! What if…” Sirius blanched. “What if he locks me up for so long I lose my good looks? What if something horrible happens to her and I never see her again? What if she  _ dies _ before I get to tell her how I feel? Or worse, what if she marries James?”

Remus gave him a weak smile. “I doubt that’ll happen.”

“But it could!” He turned and Remus’s hand darted out, snipping off a small lock of hair and stashing it in his robes.

“Remus?”

“Mmmm?”

“You aren’t jealous, right?” Sirius asked. “I mean… after the other day… with the kiss and everything?”

“I…” but Remus couldn’t find words.

“I mean,” Sirius started out the window. It had started raining, hard. “If it wasn’t for her, I’d be all over you. But…” he shook his head, the dopey expression back. “But… who could compete with her?” He looked back over towards Remus, suddenly demure. “You’d choose me over James, right?”

“Yes, Sirius,” Remus said. “I’d choose you over James.”

-/-

“I also ordered some pre-stewed lacewing flies,” James said, setting out the potion ingredients in a tidy line, “it won’t make as good a potion as freshly stewed ones, but I’ll be able to brew a lot of it, so we should be able to make due. I’ll start making it tonight, hopefully that’ll get us through the month.” His expression wasn’t terribly hopeful. He pulled out the last part of his order from Pipanollot’s Potions by Post — a large bottle of polyjuice potion to tide them over until they could brew their own.

“You got the hair, right?” James asked.

Remus handed it over. They’d just spent the last few hours luring Sirius out towards the Shrieking Shack, making vague promises that may or may not have involved Lily, then activating a truly paranoid amount of charms securing the place. They were all frazzled and tired, but then James’s owl had arrived, and sleep had to be put off a little longer.

“Want to be the first one to test it?” James asked as he poured out a small amount of the potion. “Just to see if it works?”

The only thing Remus wanted to do less than that was explain why he wouldn’t want to. He took it.

The transformation, without the accompanying giddiness that had colored his last experience with the potion, felt odd. It wasn’t like the bloated feeling that came with turning into Ernie— he was becoming smaller. And it wasn’t the brutal violation he felt every month — he was becoming healthier.

There was a settling, and he was Sirius Black. They didn’t have a mirror, but when he looked down and wiggled his fingers, it was using Sirius’s hands. Sirius’s ankles were jutting out from the bottom of his trousers.

He looked up at James and Peter, and played at levity. “How do I look?” he asked, hopping on one foot and waving his arms around like an acrobat who’d just landed a particularly difficult jump.

Peter smiled. “Like an utter prat.”

“Oh good,” Remus said, “so it worked.”

“Worked beautifully,” James agreed. “See? We’ve got this under control. It’ll be fine.”

-/-

It was not fine.

As it turned out, occupying the body of someone you’d been lusting after for three years presented all sorts of fascinatingly torturous situations.

Changing.

Visits to the toilet.

And, of course, zoning out in class and getting  _ aroused. _

Through some creative schedule bending, they’d managed to cover each of Sirius’s classes. 

Remus got Charms. Remus went to class. Remus didn’t do anything. Remus was quiet. Remus stayed in his chair. Remus wanted to die a little.

The rest of them all seemed to be having fun with it. Peter enjoyed being the center of attention for once, and “Sirius” went on quite a few dates. Lily used her Sirius shifts as a chance to bolster some of her friends’ reputations by complimenting them loudly and very publically.

(She also did a considerable amount of feminine hip swinging, Remus noticed with no small amount of alarmed interest).

James mostly just flirted with McGonagall.

One day, between classes, Remus went to the library. Unfortunately, due to the schedule and the quality of their polyjuice potion, he had to go as Sirius.

He yelped as arms wrapped around his waist.

“Mmmm,” came a feminine hum behind him. “I missed you.”

Remus tensed.  _ Fuck fuck fuck _ .

“Uh… I’m,” he cleared his throat. “I’m not interested. Right now. Maybe later.”

The hands didn’t leave, instead, they started to travel lower.

_ Godammit. _

“Stop,” he said sharply, stepping away. “I don’t want to.”

The girl — some Hufflepuff he half-recognized, though he had no clue what her name was — pouted. “What’s wrong with you? It’s like you’re a completely different person.”

Remus laughed despite himself.

“What?” she asked. “What’s so funny? Why are you laughing at me?” Tears started to fall from the corners of her eyes. “You were so sweet last night. Where did all of that go?”

Remus bit back some of his annoyance. He was really going to have to talk to Peter. This was ridiculous. “I… I’m sorry. I’m not in the mood.”

She frowned. “I mean… the other day you said you didn’t want to do this anymore, and I figured you were finally going to make that move on Lupin, you know? You talked about him so much.”

Remus felt his throat constrict. “I…”

“But then yesterday, you came back… and now, what? You’ve changed your mind again? Did you two fight or something? Because I used to see all of you together all the time… and now you’re all fragmented and weird. What happened?”

“We’re just… going through some stuff right now. I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me.”

She raised an eyebrow.

_ Merlin’s hairy balls, _ he actually just said that.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, lamely. “I have to… I have to study.”

She left with a frustrated huff, and Remus pressed his forehead against the edge of a nearby shelf.

This month was going to last years.

“You must not have given him the right dosage,” came a vaguely familiar voice through the shelves.

“I gave him the whole bottle!”

Wait, was that Regulus?

“Then I guess Pettigrew’s stuff wasn’t as strong as he thought. He’s been running off with everyone  _ but _ Evans. Good luck for you, eh, Severus?”

Snape’s voice sounded like he felt something less than lucky. “Shut up, Adrian. I hope Pettigrew didn’t pay too much for that, it appears he was conned. They aren’t happy with this, Regulus. You’ll have to figure something else out.”

Remus’s stomach turned. He glanced at his watch. 

He held his breath, waiting to hear what happened next, but then he felt an uncomfortable sensation and bit back an annoyed groan.

He was getting taller. 

Remus turned away quickly. In his haste and general ungainliness, he ran into one of the shelves. Books toppled over on the other side. He heard a high pitched yelp.

The girl glanced over the corner of the shelf. “Remus?” She looked over to where “Sirius” had been a moment before. “Where did Sirius go? When did you get here?”

The Slytherins were leaving the library, he didn’t have much time. He darted behind the shelf, just out of their view. “I’m…” he whispered. “I mean… he just left. Avoiding his,” he jerked his head towards Regulus’s retreating form.

“Oh,” she whispered, following his gaze. “I see. So why are you hiding?”

“Long story.”

“Were you having a… meeting?”

“What?”

“You’re a lucky man, Remus,” she said, looking forlorn.

Remus wanted to shake her. “We’re… uh… I don’t know what you’ve heard, but… we’re not…”

She frowned. “You’re not?”

“No,” he whispered, glancing over his shoulder. The Slytherins hadn’t bothered to leave yet. They were loitering around some nearby shelf. He wanted to throw a book at them. 

She glanced up at the Slytherins through the bookcase. “So would you put in a good word for me?”

His attention snapped back to her. “What?”

“Get me a date with Sirius,” she said, a wicked smile coming to her lips.

His jaw clenched. “ _ What _ ?”

“Saturday night. Astronomy tower. Me and Sirius. Or I’ll let them know you’re here.”

He felt uncomfortably tingles move all over his skin. “Are you kidding me?”

She started to stand. “Hey, over-”

Remus grabbed her and brought her back down to the crouch. “Fine!” he hissed. “Fine. Saturday.”

“Great,” she smiled. “Looks like your friends are gone. Tell Sirius I’ll be waiting for him at 8:00.”

-/-

The Shack was starting to look like a warped art studio. Sirius had taken to writing poetry about Lily, singing songs about Lily, and painting pictures of Lily. Fortunately, he had no gift for painting, so they were always rather unclear. It was for the best, really. Judging by the color palette, they were all nudes.

James was doing a really really good job of pretending like it wasn’t bothering him.

James and Peter were sitting on the floor by Sirius, a collection of food stolen from the kitchen spread about like a frantic picnic.

Sirius was talking about Lily. He was always talking about Lily. “I need to go see her. If she knows how I feel, I’m sure she’ll say she feels the same…” He smiled when Remus came in. “Right, Remus? Of course she’d want me.”

“Of course,” Remus muttered, sitting. What was the point in saying anything else? “Can we talk?” he asked James. “I think I know who’s responsible for all this,” he said.

-/-

It was not the methodology Remus would have opted for.

James slammed Regulus against the wall. Peter and Remus were hanging back lamely, like his lackies, which Remus sometimes suspected they were.

“Why did you do it?” James hissed. “Why would you give something like that to your own brother?”

Regulus blinked, then the understanding spread across his face. “So it did work. What have you... oh,” his head fell back and a small smile came to his lips. “Polyjuice. Clever. Must be costing you a fortune in ingredients, though. How’ve you been justifying that to Mummy and Daddy?”

“You haven’t answered my question, Black. Why?”

Regulus shrugged, his robes scraping against the rough stone of the wall. “It was a prank. I didn’t think I’d have to explain pranks to you. Or do you just not understand them when the victim is you?”

“Why Lily?” James asked, teeth clenched.

“Because it’s funny,” Regulus grinned with a bravado that sat unnaturally on his narrow, concerned features. “Look at you… you’re such a mess. And there’s nothing you can do, is there?”

“We can take him to the professors. We can tell them you did it,” James said.

Regulus jutted his chin out haughtily. “No, you can’t. Because if you do, I’ll tell them how I got it. And they’ll know I got it from Pettigrew. You’ll all get in trouble, too.”

Peter stiffened at his side.

“Do I strike you as someone who’s afraid of getting in trouble?” James asked, knuckles white on Regulus’s cloak.

“No, but he does,” Regulus gestured towards Peter, who did, in fact, look quite stricken.

“It’s just a detention, Peter,” James said, glancing over his shoulder.

Peter opened his mouth, like he was about to say something, but Regulus cut him off. He looked very pleased with himself. “It’s more than that. Amortentia is dangerous to have. Anyone caught with it is looking at suspension. Maybe even expulsion.”

“My mother would kill me,” Peter said. “We can’t tell them.”

An idea came to Remus’s mind, like a break in the endless cloud cover of the last few days. A path out of the clusterfuck they’d found themselves in.

“Let’s go,” he said, earning shocked looks from James and Peter. He felt heat pool in his cheeks — what did he think he was, some sort of gangster? — but they went with him, James casting one last sour look at Regulus before they filed out of the hall.

When they got back to the dormitory, Remus explained. “So — and don’t ask me how I know this — I’m about 95% certain Slughorn has some amortentia in his potion stores. I think he’ll be presenting it to the sixth years soon.”

“Alright,” James said, eyes narrowed. “And that helps us… how?”

“Well, the chief problem with us going to Slughorn or someone else for help is him figuring out how someone sourced it, right? If we take the potion from his stores, dispose of it, and then bring Sirius to Slughorn shortly after, he’ll assume the culprit stole it from him.”

“That’s ridiculous,” James said. Then he smiled. “I’m in. Been a while since we’ve done a good potions raid, eh?”

-/-

“This is so stupidly complicated,” Lily commented, flipping through the book. “Now I get why they don’t teach it.”

“That,” James said, stirring the cauldron, “and you know all the students would do something irresponsible with it.”

“Just you, Potter,” Lily said.

“I take exception to that accusation, Evans,” James said, using the voice he used when he was being charming.

“So I should just ignore the illicit vat of polyjuice we’re making right now?” She gave him the eye roll she used when she was being charmed.

James just smiled.

Remus didn’t really want to be there anymore. He stood up. “Think I’ll go relieve Peter a bit early.”

“Alright,” James said, barely registering his departure as he and Lily shredded Boomslang skin.

The trek to the Shrieking Shack was quiet and glum, Remus kicking loose rocks along the path in front of him with a general sense of dejection he hadn’t felt in years.

Sirius was sitting in the corner with a guitar and a pile of parchment. Peter glanced up from his magazine and frowned at Remus. He checked his watch.

“You’re three hours early,” Peter said.

“Do you care?” Remus asked, sharper than usual. He didn’t care. The moon was waxing. They’d probably blame it on that.

“Not really, no,” Peter said. “Be warned though,” he leaned in towards Remus, who had to crouch a little so Peter could whisper in his ear, “he’s in a singing mood.”

Remus’s eyes were still trained on Sirius, who seemed barely aware of his friends.

“Great,” Remus said. “Thanks for the warning.

Peter gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder and left.

Remus plopped down on the cot they’d set up by the window.

“Hey, Remus?”

“Mmmm?”

“What else rhymes with Lily? So far I have hilly, silly, chilly…”

Remus cocked an eyebrow. “Agility?”

“That’s not a real rhyme.”

“It’s a slant rhyme. Still counts.”

“Mmmmm…” Remus could hear the scratching of quill against parchment.

Remus started to doze off. A little while later, he was awoken by Sirius’s soft voice. “Remus?”

“Mmmm?”

“Did you do something different with your hair today?” Sirius was looking at him strangely, open and innocent and confused. Like he’d been looking at him for quite some time and still wasn’t sure what to make of what he saw.

“I… I just got it cut.”

“It looks good,” Sirius said, and he looked like he’d surprised himself by saying that.

“Thanks, Sirius,” Remus said. “I… appreciate that.”

Sirius let his eyes fall back to the parchment on his lap… “So I just realized that Lily and titties is a slant rhyme too… but I don’t know. Is it too strong? Here… this is what I have so far...”

Remus sighed.

-/-

By their standards, it was laughably easy. Peter, who needed to not be seen near the potions cupboard in the event that the Slytherins decided to start throwing out accusations, opted to go as Sirius. James and Lily were assigned as decoys. They were visiting Slughorn for tea, wanting to “pick his brain,” as Lily had put it.

It was only their affection for Slughorn that had kept them from robbing him blind.

Remus held the ladder in place. “Do you have any clue how he arranges these things? I’d thought there would be more labels,” he whispered.

Peter shrugged. “It seems alphabetical… but then not. Shit. Where are the love potions? I think I’m in the poisons section. Wait! Found it!”

Remus could hear James and Lily chattering away on the other side of the door, grilling Slughorn about… toad pee?

“Oh, yes,” he heard Slughorn’s voice get louder as he approached the closet. “I think I have a vial of it in my stores… I’ll just be a moment. Help yourself to the biscuits.”

Lily was rushing over to tell him that  _ no, professor, that won’t be necessary oh could you please tell me all about this fascinating class picture, is that the current head of Gringotts? _ but Slughorn was already turning the knob.

Peter stuffed the vial into his pocket. He gave Remus a  _ what now? _ Look.

Given more time, Remus would have thought of something better. But in the moment, all he could see was Sirius’s face and his mind brought up the best possible reason why Slughorn would catch them in a closet they shouldn't be in… something that would divert attention from any other potential explanation.

He grabbed Peter by Sirius’s hair and kissed him.

Less than a second later, the light from the hall lit up Remus and Sirius, snogging in the potions cupboard.

Remus pulled away with a studied look of horror. Peter didn’t have to fake it.

Slughorn was staring at them, blinking in confusion. James and Lily were wearing matching looks of shock behind him.

Remus blushed, which ultimately helped his performance. “Uh… good evening, professor.”

“Lupin,” Slughorn said. He looked over at Peter. “Black. Surely you have better places to…” he cleared his throat, “than my potion stores.”

“Uh, well…” Remus rubbed the back of his neck.

Slughorn held up a hand, sparing them all. “Nevermind. Er… five points from Gryffindor, I suppose. For… lack of discretion. Yes, let’s… er… let’s go with that. Run along now.”

Remus all but dragged Peter out of the closet. Lily and James stepped aside to let them pass, still looking like they didn’t understand what they just saw.

“Well,” James said later that evening, when they’d regrouped in the common room. “I’m glad you… covered for yourself.”

“Slughorn seemed to be in good spirits,” Lily noted, confused smile on her face. “Said you earned him twenty galleons…” she shook her head. “Apparently there’s been a rumor that the two of you are a… you know…”

Peter, who’d been brushing his teeth for the last twenty minutes, cocked an eyebrow.

They all looked at Remus, who had to swallow down a thick lump in his throat. “Well, don’t you think I’d tell you if we were? Also, we need to go check in on him. He’s been unattended for a long time.”

-/-

“It’s simple,” Remus said. “I need someone to grab me some…” he racked his mind for a potion ingredient. “... batwing.”

The fourth year frowned. “What would you need that for? Are you going bald?” Her eyes floated up towards his hairline.

“It’s for a friend,” Remus said, blushing.

“Alright,” she said, disbelieving. “Sure.”

“Five galleons,” Remus said. “Take it or leave it.”

The fourth year extended her hand. Remus gave her the money. She darted away with a smile.

Remus was certain the stress of James’s “damage control” would make him go bald on its own.

They’d decided that before they could go to Slughorn, they’d send some other students into the potions storage to steal various different ingredients — muddy the waters, he’d said. 

And so they were paying random students stupid amounts of money to steal useless shit.

“But how do we prevent them from tattling on us?” he’d asked when James suggested the solution.

“They won’t,” James had said with confidence.

“Why won’t they?” Peter had asked.

“Because no one wants to be the person who tells on us.”

“We’re going to risk all of this trouble on the power of our charisma alone?” Peter had asked, incredulous.

“I know right?” James’s smile had bordered on wolfish. “Brilliant, innit?”

“No,” Remus and Peter had chorused. But what other option did they have?

-/-

“Alright,” Nelson said, “I’ve got another one coming. You… Ready?”

_ No _ . “Yeah,” Remus said, raising the bat and jerking his head so Sirius’s hair would get out of his eyes.

The bludger came faster than Remus could comprehend, which wasn’t a surprise.

He hit it, which was.

A pity cheer rose from the rest of the team. James gave him a pained smile.

“That was really good,” Nelson said, too kindly.

“Thanks,” Remus said, raising the bat again. “Can you give me another?”

Nelson glanced at James, as if asking permission, and hit the bludger back over to Remus.

Remus missed. He barely managed to dodge out of the thing’s way before it hit him in the face.

“Hey… Sirius…” James flew over. “Why don’t you take a quick breather? Rest that arm?”

Remus rubbed his sore forearm. He was going to have an impressive bruise in the morning, he knew.

Remus landed somewhat awkwardly — flying had never been his thing — and set his broom down.

He wandered off to a copse of trees just a little off from the Quidditch pitch and collapsed against one of the thick trunks. He let his body slide down to the ground, rubbing his sore arm.

“So…” came a voice from behind the tree, “which one are you… no, wait! Let me guess?” Regulus strolled over and stroked his chin in an exaggerated show of pensivity. “Mmmm… Lupin?”

Something must’ve shown in Remus’s expression, because Regulus smiled.

“Ha! Knew it. You always look emotionally constipated, even when you’re wearing someone else’s face.”

Remus glowered at him.

“Yeah, like that. So how is old Sirius doing? Must be half mad, wherever you’ve got him locked up. Where is that, by the way?”

Remus let his head thunk back against the tree trunk. Sirius’s hair got back in his eyes. And his arm  _ bloody hurt.  _ “On the intersection of up yours and I did your mum.”

“Mmmm, you’re no fun.” Regulus leaned against the tree, smiling. In that moment, Remus could see he was Sirius’s brother. At the same time, though, there was something artificial about the resemblance. This new levity of his didn’t sit well. Swagger didn’t come naturally to him, like it did to Sirius. “I’m sure Severus has some ideas.”

Remus’s jaw tightened.

Regulus let out an amused breath. “So he does know something.” His gaze drifted over towards the pitch and the circling and darting figures in scarlet robes. “Interesting.”

Remus glared at him. “Why are you doing this? Don’t you have standards? What, did the Death Eaters tell you you needed to prove your loyalty so you can join their stupid club?”

Regulus narrowed his eyes. “Like I said, it’s just a prank. Stop taking it so seriously.”

Remus was about to say something else — what, he wasn’t sure — but Regulus’s posture changed. Something had his attention.

Remus followed his gaze. James was storming over towards them. “Gryffindor has the pitch,” James said.

“We aren’t on the pitch,” Regulus said, rolling his eyes. “Merlin, Potter, despite what you think, you don’t own the whole school.”

“You’re disturbing my teammate,” James said, pointedly professional. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“I think we all know that’s not your teammate,” Regulus said, smirking at Remus. “But I guess I’ll leave anyway. I’ve got what I came for. Do send Sirius my love, will you?” And he sauntered off.

“Git,” James hissed through clenched teeth. “You alright?”

“Fine,” Remus said, shrugging. The bruised muscles on his arms sent down jolts of pain, but he ignored it.

“What did he want?”

“I think he was just gloating,” Remus said. “Or trying to figure out where Sirius is. I think he might ask Snape.”

James tensed at Remus’s side. “Do you think he’ll tell him about the Shack?”

“I don’t know,” Remus said, biting his lip. “I doubt it. The full moon’s in a few days anyway, so he’ll know to stay away.”

They’d been avoiding that particular topic, so James just hummed. “Mmmm…”

“So,” Remus said, “the game?” They’d be playing Hufflepuff in four days’ time.

“The game,” James confirmed.

“I won’t be able to play,” he rubbed his shoulder. “Think that’s clear. And we tried Lily and Peter…”

“He said his concussion symptoms are pretty much gone now.”

“So…” Remus continued, drawing the conversation towards its necessary, uncomfortable conclusion.

“So,” James sighed.

“So,” Remus said, “we have to let him play.”


	3. In Which a Game is Afoot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long gap between chapters. Life has a way of interfering with ones posting schedule.
> 
> Warnings for angst and mental instability.

“So,” Remus began, forced-casual, which wasn’t casual at all. “What do you think about…” and it wasn’t until that moment that he realized he had no clue what the girl’s name was.

“What do I think about…?” Sirius looked up from the heap of parchment on his lap. He’d taken to writing haikus about Lily recently, sparked by the realization that “erogenous zone” had five syllables. 

“What do you think about… there’s this girl? She’s a Hufflepuff?”

“Okay,” Sirius started slowly, resting his chin on his knee. “So that’s one eighth of the school.”

“She was in my potions class last year? She has,” he gestured to indicate the general shape of her hair. “And she’s got a mole, right here,” he pressed his index finger to a space just to the right of his mouth.”

Sirius frowned. “Cassandra Cunningham?”

“Sure.”

“What about her?”

“You… I mean… did you two…?”

“Oh,” Sirius let out a little confused huff of air. “I guess we did. But that was a while back. Why?”

“I mean… so…” Shit. He should have thought this through. “How do you feel about her?”

Sirius shrugged. “She’s alright. I mean, she’s no Lily. But who is?”

“Who indeed.”

“I mean,” Sirius reasoned, as if the thought just occurred to him. “Except Lily. You know what I really love about her?”

“What?”

“The way that her eyes catch sunlight. Ever noticed that? Where else in nature are there eyes that color?”

“Dunno.”

“Agh, and you know what I was thinking?”

“What?”

“After all of this is over and James gets over his bitch fit — which he has to, right?”

“Right.”

“After this stupid quarantine is up and you realize I’m just in fucking love, I’ll walk right up to her — right in front of everyone — and just swoop her up in my arms and kiss her. Right there. Wouldn’t that be amazing?”

“Mmmmmm.”

“And you know what the best time to do that would be?”

“When?”

“Her birthday.”

“Her birthday.”

“Yeah? Like, for a present? Can you imagine a better present than a kiss from me?”

“No I can’t.”

“I mean, I’m a good kisser, right?” The bravado was gone and he looked directly at Remus for the first time, eyes wide in his terror. “Right, Remus?”

“You’re a good kisser.”

Relief deflated him. “So it would be perfect. Her birthday’s in… what… February? Oh God!” His fingers corded through his hair, eyes wide in consternation. “I don’t know when her birthday is.”

“January 30th.”

“What kind of lover doesn’t know when his — his lover’s — birthday is?”

“It’s January 30th. Calm down.”

“How can you say something like that!?” He jumped up and started pacing the floor. The Shack’s floorboards creaked loudly beneath him. “Really, Remus. What if she actually doesn’t like me?! What if she never wants to see me? What then?”

“It’ll… it’ll be fine. Look, Cassandra. Do you like her? Did you, I mean? Before you realized you were in love with Lily?”

“Yeah. What? Whatever. Who cares? What about Lily?”

“You know we’ve been going to your classes for you, right?”

“Despite my wishes, yes,” Sirius sniffed.

“And so everyone thinks we’re you,” Remus continued. 

“Which is weird.”

“Sorry. I know. Sorry. It’s… sorry. Look, Peter’s been fooling around with Cassandra.”

“Great. Couldn’t be happier for him.”

“As you.”

Sirius stopped. “What?”

“And… you… have a date with her this Saturday.” Remus decided against saying exactly why.

All the color — what color was left after being locked away for the better part of two weeks — drained from his face. “What?! That’s… no! What if Lily finds out!? She’ll think I’m being unfaithful!”

There was a tell-tale banging down towards the end of the Shack’s tunnel. Remus let his head fall back against the wall he’d been leaning against.  _ Timing _ .

James and Peter were engaged in light chatting, but they quickly stood to attention when Sirius spun and glared at them.

Sirius pointed at Peter like some 16th century witch-catcher. “Peter Pettigrew, you rat bastard!”

“What?” Peter blinked. “What did I do?”

“Cassandra,” Remus answered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Apparently.”

“Oh,” Peter whispered, reddening. “Well… about that…”

“I will not stand for this. You’re my friends, and I love you, and I’m sure you’ve convinced yourselves you’re doing the right thing, but this is too far. Peter — no more dates. James? She’ll choose me. Get over it. Remus…” He paused.

“Yes?” Remus asked.

“Just… nevermind. No more dates. You’re welcome to do my homework for me, but no more dates.”

“Sounds fair,” Peter shuffled his feet. “So James had something to ask you.”

James glared at Peter, then turned to Sirius. “We want you to pay in the game this weekend.” 

He said it with such gravity that none of them responded for a moment.

Then Sirius laughed. “Of course I’ll be playing! Who else could play for me?”

“Right,” James said, nodding. Completely sensible. “Who else?”

“And that brings up another question,” Sirius said. “The full moon’s in a few days, right?”

Everyone’s eyes darted over to Remus, whose face was feeling hot.

“Yeah,” James continued, “we were thinking,” he cleared his throat. “We were thinking we’d move you back to the dorms for the night.”

“No,” Sirius said, “absolutely not. I’ll be here, as Padfoot, like always.”

“I’m not sure…” James started.

“Fine,” Remus said, “I… yeah. Thank you.”

James looked back at him, eyebrow cocked.

“He’ll be a dog, James. And you can keep an eye on him, or whatever. It’s safer that way.”

“Fine!” James said, though he didn’t sound fine. “Fine,” he repeated, deflating.

Sirius’s smile made Remus’s stomach twist.

-/-

The full moon arrived, and the full moon passed.

It wasn’t really all that different from any other full moon since they’d become animagi.

James ran ahead, Peter riding on his antlers. Sirius was completely the dog: tail wagging, nipping playfully at Remus’s heels.

The two canines were inseparable as usual. They tussled and yelped with delight.

James and Peter were a ways away, and Remus and Sirius hung back and Remus ended up on top and Sirius yielded back and then and then…

Something further into the forest made a sound. Sirius ran off.

-/-

The following morning, Remus had his usual headache. He could remember small snatches of the night, like glimpses of a creature through the thick brush of a forest. Small vignettes of the night flitting in and out of memory, like a half-forgotten dream.

They were eating breakfast in the infirmary (sans Sirius) and James was looking at him funny.

“Is there something on my face?” Remus asked, a nervous smile. He scratched the edge of the bandage Madam Pomfrey had applied to his cheek that morning.

James frowned. He bit his lip, exchanged a glance with Peter. Remus frowned, wondering when he’d fallen out of the loop.

“James, what is it?”

James glanced around the room, reassuring himself that it was empty. “You and Sirius… I mean, I know we joked about it before, but are you…?”

Remus’s body felt hot. “Are we what?”

“Obviously not now, but during the moon you were… I mean,” he cleared his throat.

Peter nodded. “And before that, I… I have been wondering for some time. If you and he were… you know,” he made a sweeping hand gesture.

Remus’s heart pounded a tattoo against his ribcage.

“We wouldn’t mind!” James reassured, holding out a hand to ward off any thoughts on Remus’s part of him taking issue. “Right, Wormtail?”

“No, no,” Peter shook his head earnestly. “Just be sure next time you snog Sirius it’s actually Sirius, alright?” And then he let out a giggle with all the ruggedness of spun sugar.

“The point is… you know you can talk to us, right?”

Remus tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. “I know… I know… It’s just… aagh…” He drew his legs up against himself and pressed his forehead into his knees. “It’s complicated.”

“Okay,” James said, scratching the back of his neck. “I mean… because of the love potion? Because — I read about this yesterday — love potions don’t cancel out a person’s feelings for someone else. It just overpowers them. It’s like… it’s like garlic.”

Remus cocked an eyebrow. “Garlic?”

“Yeah!” James sat up straighter. “Garlic. The Lily garlic is overpowering all the Remus flavors. But they’re still there. And once the garlic flavor is gone…”

“Does Lily know you’re comparing her to garlic?”

“You get my point!” James said with a dismissive wave. “I’m sure he feels the same about you as he did before. I mean, I had my suspicions before, but last night…” he flushed. “Anyway, he just got to deal with this and then I’m sure he’ll be back to normal. It’s just a few more weeks.”

-/-

“WELCOME TO THE MATCH YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR… HUFFLEPUFF VERSUS GRYFFINDOR!”

The crowd let its appreciation be known. Remus’s eyes were trained on the sky, on a certain figure in flapping scarlet robes.

“IT’S A… BEAUTIFUL DAY,” Remus commented, unnecessarily. “AND HERE WE GO, UP GOES THE QUAFFLE AND…”

Sirius was hanging over towards the Gryffindor stands, far from what Remus knew was the agreed upon place in formation. “AND… THEY’RE… AND HUFFLEPUFF TAKES THE QUAFFLE, MOVING OVER TOWARDS THE… ER… THE GRYFFINDOR SIDE OF THE PITCH. AND IT’S IN… FIRST POINT OF THE MATCH GOES TO HUFFLEPUFF.”

The Hufflepuff stands erupted with cheers. James flew over towards Sirius and bumped into him. Remus could see his mouth moving, but he couldn’t tell what he’d said.

A bludger whizzed towards their heads. Nelson hit it out of the way.

“Lupin, the game?” McGonnegal nudged him in the back. He looked down. The crowd was glancing over towards him, whispering amongst themselves. McGonnegal sighed. “Hufflepuff scored another goal.”

“AND THERE’S HUFFLEPUFF’S SECOND—”

“Third.”

“THIRD — SORRY — THIRD GOAL OF THE MATCH.” He quickly readjusted the score, cheeks burning.

James was screaming something else at Sirius, and though Remus couldn’t read lips, he was fairly certain most of the words he was shouting had four letters.

Sirius flew back over towards the action, but his attention lingered on the stands. A bludger came towards him and he batted it aside like a fly. Even Remus could sense his horrible mood.

He wasn’t going to find Lily. She wasn’t there. She was up in the castle, likely grumpy and most of the way through destroying the enormous plate of biscuits James had bribed her with to keep her away from the game.

The realization was starting to dawn on Sirius, he could see.

“AND SPENCER MANAGES TO AVOID THAT RATHER NASTY LOOKING BLUDGER THANKS TO A BIT OF FANCY BAT WORK FROM OUR — SORRY, PROFESSOR —  _ GRYFFINDOR’S _ SIRIUS BLACK! AND LOOK AT THAT, HE CLEARS THE WAY FOR THE FIRST GRYFFINDOR POINT OF THE GAME!”

But they weren’t going to be able to make up the early lead Hufflepuff had taken. Sirius was more himself by the end of the game, but Hufflepuff was a strong team, and Sirius seemed to have lost some of his teammates’ trust.

“ROBERTSON IS INTERCEPTED BY HORNBEAM. OH! BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THERE’S AN OPENING TO THE LEFT? WILL SPENCER GO FOR IT? ALRIGHT… GUESS NOT. AND THERE’S ANOTHER GOAL FOR HUFFLEPUFF.”

James was darting about like a hummingbird, trying to make up for every single inconsistency, hesitation, or distraction on the team. Sirius was trying to make up for his own failings early on, and was going out of his way to attack bludgers, even to the point of putting himself in immediate danger.

“Lupin? There’s been another goal.”

“AND THAT’S FIFTEEN MORE POINTS TO HUFFLEPUFF!”

“Gryffindor.”

“OH — SORRY, SORRY — GRYFFINDOR. THAT BRINGS THE TOTAL SCORE TO HUFFLEPUFF, 90, GRYFFINDOR—” Sirius just barely managed to dodge a bludger before it slammed directly into his face. “AND GRYFFINDOR, 45.”

It was a brutal, brutal match, but it wasn’t a long one. Hufflepuff caught the snitch quickly after Sirius overcommitted to a bludger maneuver and nearly knocked the Gryffindor seeker out of the air.

Hufflepuff was almost too polite to cheer.

Almost.

-/-

The tent was somber and quiet, after. Sirius was sulking in the corner. James was sulking everywhere. Remus got a few acknowledging nods when he walked in, but no one spoke to him. Occasional, tense conversations would spring up here and there.  _ What happened? Do you know why… everyone… was off? I mean… everyone’s… been off for a few weeks now. _

More than a few glances towards Sirius suggested they didn’t actually mean  _ everyone. _

Then someone asked, “where’s Evans? She’s usually here.”

Sirius got up and left.

Remus followed him out.

“Hey,” Remus said, reaching out towards Sirius’s shoulder. “Hey!”

Sirius’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t walk away. “I’m sorry,” he said, shoulders sagging.

“What?”

“I’m sorry I fucked the game up so much. I know it’s my fault. I know I’ve been acting strange.” He stared stoically back at the Quidditch pitch. “I let my team down, and I let you down.”

“You didn’t let me down,” Remus said. “And we all have bad days. Besides, you’re still dealing with the love potion.”

Sirius took a deep breath, eyes darting over towards Remus. “The love potion. How long until it wears off?”

“We’re not sure. A few weeks.”

“It’s not… I mean…” he narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think it has as much sway as it used to. I feel like I was under water, and now I’m coming up for air.”

Something bright and beautiful fluttered in Remus’s stomach. A hopeful grin came to his lips before he could stop himself. “That’s good to hear. You’re healing.”

Sirius gave him a weak smile in return, but his eyes darted back to the pitch. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

-/-

That night Remus had guard duty. He shifted, trying to find a comfortable seat — he did all the half-assed half-stretches of the sore and exhausted: neck rolls, shoulder rolls, twists, turns.

Sirius watched him. “Sore?”

“Yeah.”

“The full moon?”

“Yeah.”

“Think maybe a walk might help?” he glanced out the window. “It’s so nice outside.”

It was a greyish-blue as the sun went down, and the sort of damp that seeped down to the bones. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea…” Remus began, though the thought did have it’s appeals. The cold mist on his face might help with the headache.

“Why not? You can watch me, or whatever. If I really wanted to get out, don’t you think I could?”

Remus did think he could. God knew he’d had nightmares about it. “Fine,” he said, standing. “We’ll go for a quick walk.”

And so they did. Remus’s theory about the mist turned out to be correct. He closed his eyes and sighed.

When he opened them, Sirius was staring at him.

“You know how I first realized I was attracted to you?”

Remus’s breath hitched. “How?”

“It was… fourth year, I think. We’d all come back from the Christmas holiday. I was trying to find you. And you were at the top of the astronomy tower, looking at the moon — it was waning, I think — and I remember being struck by how beautiful you were. And I remember thinking for the first time how much I wanted to kiss you.”

Remus’s breath caught in his throat. “Why didn’t you?”

“I wasn’t sure you wanted the same things.”

“And now? Now?”

“Now… I think I’d like to kiss you again. Can I?”

For a blissful moment their lips came together and Remus had no thoughts, then his mind caught up, and he was flooded with them. Like how wrong it probably was to be doing that. How much the wanting-having-not-having-wanting cycle hurt more than the waxing and waning of the moon. That a Sirius who had few places to go felt softer than a free-range Sirius and that the softness would haunt him for some time.

They separated and he couldn’t read Sirius’s face. Remus opened his mouth to speak, but Sirius was already running.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Remus hissed, taking off after him.

Under normal circumstances, Remus was a bit faster than Sirius: longer legs, mostly. But these circumstances weren’t normal. Remus had a giant bruise on his thigh left over from the full moon, Remus was exhausted, and Sirius was running like a man possessed. In a way, Remus supposed he was.

Sirius was starting to get far enough away that Remus couldn’t even see him. He’d darted into a cluster of trees.

There was a flash from some spell. Remus couldn’t tell which.

He sprinted, leg screaming, and arrived as a huffing mess before the brothers Black.

Sirius was on the ground, sobbing.

Regulus still had his wand in his hand, and looked surprised to see them as they were to see him.

“I want to see her,” Sirius cried, curled in on himself. “Why won’t you let me  _ see her _ ? What’s so bad about her loving me? Why can’t James just let me be happy? I thought you cared about me, Remus! Why? I don’t…” his breathing was getting unsteady.

Regulus stared down at his brother, barely able to hide his horror. 

_ Wham! _

Remus just barely managed to dodge the Whomping Willow as it struck the ground with one of its branches. Remus pulled Sirius back with him and they both fell to the ground.

Regulus had hopped back in the other direction, scrambling out of the Willow’s reach.

“What are you doing out here?” Remus snapped. “And why did you attack him?”

“I… Regulus choked. “I… Severus told me you might be out here… with Sirius. I… is he okay?”

“No I’m not  _ fucking _ okay!” Sirius lurched forward, and Remus was just barely able to push him away from the Willow before it bashed his head in. “I’m trying to get back to the castle and my brother decides to paralyze my  _ fucking _ legs! How did you even  _ learn _ that spell?”

“I… er… Severus… it should… it should wear off. Oh my god, Sirius, I’m so…”

But Sirius was convulsing again. Body-wracking sobs and wails, pressing himself into Remus. “I just want to  _ see her _ ,” he repeated. “Why don’t you…  _ please… _ ”

Remus swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Whatever you needed to do this for,” he began, nearly choking on the heavy words as they came out, “I hope it was worth it.”

Regulus didn’t say anything. His eyes were still trained on his brother. The Willow eased back into stillness.

Eventually Remus got Sirius to lean against him, and he dragged him back to the Shack.

-/-

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said the next day.

Remus looked up from his homework. “What?”

Sirius was tied to the bed. There were protection charms all over the shack. It was ridiculous. James overreacted.

“I’m sorry for running away last night. And for… well… I just… I wanted to… want to… see her so much.”

Remus let his head thunk back against the wall. “I know,” he said. “I know.”

“It’s so… it’s not like what I feel for you,” Sirius said, eyes trained on the ceiling.

Remus felt cold. “What?”

“With you it’s so… natural, you know? It’s like a plant or something… I could feel it growing. With her it’s…” he let out a  _ whooshing _ sound. “It’s like a shooting star. Like it was nothing… then it was  _ everything _ .”

He paused.

“But I can still feel what I feel for you, you know… it’s just like… I don’t know… I still want to kiss you, but maybe that would be disrespectful to her?”

_ Just kill me, _ Remus thought,  _ just kill me now. _

“But… it’s not as strong as it was yesterday. I don’t feel like I’ll die if I don’t see her, you know? I want to, but… it’s not as dire? I don’t know if that makes sense.”

Remus didn’t know, but he didn’t say anything.

“You, though, I feel the same about. I mean, the same as I did before. A few days ago, I couldn’t have given less of a shit about you. Which was weird, and maybe that’s how I should have known that something was wrong. But the normal feeling’s back. I look at you and I think of everything that’s right in the world.”

Remus’s chest felt heavy. He cleared his throat. “You know we can’t let you go.”

Sirius closed his eyes. “I know.”

“And… and I don’t know if you’re telling the truth. You lied to me yesterday.”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said.

“I’m sorry, too,” Remus whispered.

The conversation fell. Remus went back to his homework.

At some point, Sirius started crying.

Remus went to him, unsure if he would be a comfort in that moment. Sirius shifted on the bed, using what movement was available to him to make room for Remus, who curled into his side.

Sirius pressed his face into the crook of Remus’s neck, sobbing. Remus rubbed his back, humming a lullaby his mother used to sing to him when he was very small and recovering from his earliest moons.

They laid there for a long time, in the dark and the quiet. Mourning.

-/-

Slughorn looked stern. It didn’t sit properly on his features. Slughorn wasn’t  _ stern _ . His eyes appraised the classroom in front of him, and he let the room remain silent for longer than was natural. Remus and “Sirius” (who was actually Lily) exchanged a look.

“Who can tell me,” Slughorn began eventually, “what we were  _ supposed  _ to learn about today?”

A murmur moved throughout the room. Remus felt his stomach clench. Here it was.

Slughorn nodded towards a student who’d raised their hand.

“Amortentia, sir. According to the syllabus.”

“That’s right. Now, who can guess why we are  _ not _ learning about it today? Hmmm?”

No one offered an answer.

“Last night,” Slughorn said, “I went to my stores to find the amortentia I had brewed for today’s class. I was unable to find it, as well as many other valuable and…” he frowned, as if remembering a riddle he couldn’t solve, “ _ not so valuable _ potion ingredients. Now, I take theft of any sort very seriously, but theft of something as dangerous as amortentia is graver still,” he paused for what he likely believed was dramatic effect, “I am a reasonable man, and I understand you’re all young. If the culprit confesses now, I’m prepared to be lenient. So, does anyone wish to come forward?”

No one did.

Slughorn looked unsurprised, but his shoulders slumped a little more. The man was not a born disciplinarian. 

“Very well. I will install a box outside of my office door. If anyone wishes to post an anonymous tip I would be very grateful. Now then, we will skip the amortentia unit this week and move it to next month. That should give me enough time to source the ingredients and brew a new batch. So, memory potions…”

Remus and Sirius/Lily exchanged another look. Sirius/Lily mouthed,  _ how has he only noticed now? _

Remus gave as subtle an  _ I don’t know _ shrug as he could. He did some social calculus. He gave it until lunchtime tomorrow. Then the other shoe would drop.

-/-

“He was going to snitch!” 

The other first year was incensed. “I  _ was not _ going to snitch,” he said. “I just think it’s unfair how little you’ve paid us given the risk we're taking.”

James sighed. “What risk? He doesn’t know you took it. As long as you were careful, no one saw. And if no one saw, no one can snitch on you.” He leaned down, emphasising the difference in height between him and the first year. “You  _ were _ careful, right?”

The first year’s cheeks flushed. “Of course I was!”

James shrugged, the picture of reason. “Then what do you have to worry about?”

The pair exchanged a glance, and ran off, further into the hall.

“Nice job, Prongs,” Remus deadpanned, shifting his bag up his shoulder. “Terrify the children.”

“It’s my job as their elder,” he said, pressing a pious hand to his chest.

Remus snorted. “So I guess we’re done with our little potion stores game.”

“Mmmm.”

“I still maintain this is going to blow up in our faces.”

“I’d bet against you, Moony, but I don’t want to cut into your chocolate budget.”

Remus gave him a playful shove, and they headed back to the Shack.

-/-

Sirius had a date that night, but he wouldn’t be going. That was the consensus.

“This is ridiculous!” he cried, pacing back and forth. They’d released him from the ropes a day ago. Remus had argued that it was perhaps _a bit much._ He’d quickly regained his usual pep. “I won’t have you all traipsing about the castle, pretending to be me, getting laid in my stead… whatever! It’s not right! It’s a violation of my body — _of my very identity_ — and I’ll have you know…”

“You know why we can’t let you go, Padfoot,” James said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I know why you think you can’t let me go!” Sirius said. He fell back on the bed and let out a groan. “I don’t know… I never thought you’d do something like this to me.”

The sentence thickened the air in the room like smoke, and none of them could speak through it.

James tried. “Sirius…”

“Just send Moony,” Sirius said with a dismissive wave. “At least I know he won’t try anything.”

“Sirius…”

“What do you want me to say?” Remus interrupted.

James glanced over his shoulder, looking betrayed, but Remus’s eyes were trained on Sirius. “What do you want me to say to her?”

“Tell her I’m not interested anymore. I’ve… I’ve found someone else.”

Remus’s jaw clenched. “And if she asks who?”

Peter and James were staring at him in horror, their eyes darting between their two friends like spectators in a tennis match.

Sirius took a long time to respond. “Tell her it’s none of her business.”

-/-

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t wear my hair like that.”

Remus yanked the hair from its ponytail. “Alright, how would you, then?”

“Down, of course. It’s my finest feature.”

“No,” Remus groaned, combing his hair through the shaggy, dark mess of it, “your finest feature is by far your mouth. Generally best admired while closed.”

Sirius laughed. “That your way of telling me to sit still and be silent? Do I need to go get Lily’s feminist books and burn my bra up on the front steps?”

“Do you even own a bra?”

“No, but I think I’d be able to get one. If I was the one going on the date tonight…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one here needs to be convinced of your seductory talents.”

“Is seductory even a word?” Sirius asked, lips quirking.

“How does this look?” Remus said, tilting his head so the careful dishevelment could be admired from several angles.

“I’d shag me.”

“My bed has been next to yours for six years, I know how often you shag yourself.”

Sirius just smiled. “Have fun on your date, love,” he said with a big, teeth-baring smile.

“Thanks, Mum,” Remus said, heading out the door.

-/-

He was most of the way to the Astronomy Tower when he was intercepted.

“Black, there you are! Slughorn’s been looking for you. You weren’t in the Common Room. He asked me to send you over to his office.” Nelson looked out of breath, like he’d been chasing Remus for a while.

“He… what? It’s the middle of the night.”

Nelson shrugged. “He seemed pretty put out. I wouldn’t keep him waiting any longer.”

-/-

James was already there. Remus felt his gut tighten.

“Ah!” Slughorn stood from behind his desk. “Mr. Black. Have a seat.”

Remus sat.

“Now, I imagine you already know why I’ve called you here.” He let the room fall silent.

Neither Remus nor James said anything.

Slughorn cleared his throat. “Right, well… I received an anonymous tip that you gentlemen are behind the theft of my potion ingredients. Do you refute these claims?”

Remus kept his face neutral. The tip said it was Sirius and James? Not Remus and James, or Peter for that matter? Why would someone…

James was about to say something when the door to the office was flung open.

“I stole everything, professor,” Regulus confessed, chest heaving. “I’ve been using the stores as my own pantry. I’m sorry.”

Professor Slughorn raised a somewhat disbelieving eyebrow. “You stole the yellow ridged turtle tail?”

“Yes, sir.”

“An ingredient used almost exclusively by older wizards to assuage certain… marital problems?”

A flush came to Regulus’s cheeks. “Well… I…”

Slughorn raised his hand. “Very well, lad. If you wish to take complete blame for this, who am I to stop you?” He sighed. “Fifteen points from Slytherin, and detention tomorrow night, served with me. You can help me regather some of the lost ingredients.”

“Yes, sir.”

Slughorn sat back in his chair, satisfied that he’d finished his task. “Well then, I suppose you are all dismissed.”

The three of them filed out of the room, James and Remus staring dumbstruck at Regulus.

“I… you’re not him, right?” Regulus said, scratching the back of his neck.

“No,” Remus admitted.

“Is… is he okay?”

James’s eyebrows appeared to disappear somewhere into his hairline, but Remus just nodded.

“Alright,” Regulus said. “I guess this is settled then.” And he walked away.

James stared at his retreat, then rounded on Remus. “What the hell was that?”

Remus shrugged, and said something he was getting sick of saying: “I don’t know.”


	4. In Which Concoctions Are Brewed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for brief (very brief) mentions of an injury.

The heady scent of stolen potion ingredients wafted thickened the air. Remus felt as though every breath stuck to his lungs, clinging to his throat as he tried to cough it out. He wiped sweat from his brow. His homework was resting on his lap, curling at the edges, and jutting out from the side of the mess of parchments were the instructions that James had left him. _Stir five times every thirty minutes. This is_ _very important!_ _If it starts to smell like a fart, toss in some more pig’s tail._

James had decided the best way to erase the evidence of their potion store misadventures was to put everything into an experimental potion he and Lily had brainstormed during their late night “study sessions.”

And if it made the Shrieking Shack smell weird, if it made thick, greenish smoke waft up through the chimney? Well, that made the place appear all the more haunted. 

Sirius let out a frustrated grunt and threw his transfiguration textbook across the room. The old springs on the bed’s mattress shrieked as he jumped off it. “I’m bored,” he declared.

Remus glanced up. “Alright,” he said, in a measured tone. “What do you want to do?”

Sirius bit his lip, releasing it with a wicked smirk. Remus’s eyes fell to his mouth. The small action had turned his bottom lip red and bright and inviting.

His eyes flickered back up to Sirius, who started to slink down to the floor beside him.

Sirius pressed up against him and kissed the side of his neck. Remus’s back stiffened at the sensation. “Sirius,” he hissed.

“Would it be crass,” Sirius whispered in his ear, “if I said _you_?”

Remus swallowed. “Yes. It—” he turned to look at Sirius, and choked off when he realized how close they were. “Ye— yes,” he cleared his throat. “It would.”

“Please,” Sirius murmured, so close Remus could feel the breathy word against his lips. “Please, Moony. I know you want me, too.”

“I can’t,” Remus said, looking down, hating everything. “We shouldn’t.”

“I _want_ you,” Sirius hissed, petulant.

“Sirius,” Remus met his eyes again, and they were so dark he lost his train of thought. His head hit the back wall with a sad _thump_ and he started his sentence again. “Sirius, how could I possibly know if you’re telling the truth?”

Sirius grabbed one of his hands and pushed it between his legs, jaw tightening as Remus’s hand made contact with the hardness pressing through his trousers. “Do you think I’m faking that?”

Remus withdrew his hand. “I…”

Sirius narrowed his eyes.“Respect me enough to admit I might actually be telling the truth, eh? If you aren’t going to let me out of this fucking box, at least give me that.”

“Sirius…”

“Do you not want me anymore?”

“No! What? No. Of course I do. You can’t think that’s changed.”

Sirius sat back, legs spread wide. It made his… _condition_ … all the clearer. “You kissed me the other day.”

“And look how that turned out.”

“I apologized!”

“Yeah,” Remus scratched the back of his neck, “yeah, you did. I just don’t think it’s a good idea… you know… until we know.”

“And when will we know?”

“If you saw Lily right now, what would you do?”

Sirius blinked, then furrowed his brow. He looked confused. “I would…”

“Go on,” Remus said, angry despite his efforts. He’d been angry for weeks. “Tell me. It’s just us lads here, right? I’ve heard your songs. I know what you’d like to do with her. How did that last one go? _And I want to live a life with no regrets —_ ”

“Moony.”

“ _So Lily, Lily dear, just spread those legs_.”

“Stop.”

“There really is something about slant rhyme, isn’t there?”

“For fucks sake — Remus. I’m past that.”

“Right, sure. You weren’t sobbing on the ground the other day.”

Sirius sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What would it take to prove it to you? I was rather hoping we could fuck on the floor, but it seems like that’s insufficient evidence.”

Remus just clenched his jaw. Any words felt unwise in that moment.

Sirius smirked, leaning forward and whispering in Remus’s ear: “c’mon. You want to, I want to. I just want to be _touched_ , Moony. By you. Like I’ve wanted for years. I won’t run away, I promise.” There was a little huff of air against Remus’s ear as Sirius chuckled. He felt it all the way down his spine. “You can tie me to the bed if you want to be sure.”

Remus bit his lip, beating down _that_ particular mental picture. “Sirius.”

“Please,” Sirius once more brought his lips just barely to the point of touching Remus’s. “ _Please_ ,” he begged. “I _need_ this.”

And Remus gave in.

He pulled Sirius close as their lips came crashing together. Teeth clanging, messy, broken. He didn’t care. All that mattered was they were touching.

A moan rolled through Sirius and he all but crawled onto Remus’s lap, avoiding putting pressure down on any of the remaining full moon bruises. Sirius traced his thumb along the scar that ran parallel to Remus’s jawline, his touch leaving a path of tingling, static-y agony in its path. Then he started placing kisses along Remus’s cheekbones, his closed eyelids, his hair line. Gentle and teasing and tender, like Remus was something delicate and precious.

A tear fell unbidden from Remus’s eye. Sirius kissed it away. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I know… I know this is hard for you.”

Remus removed a line of tears from his cheek with what could only be called a shove, barking out a cruel, coarse laugh as he wiped his hand on his trouser leg. “The situation is hard… but so are you. Right?”

“Remus,” Sirius whispered. “I’m trying to be…”

“What?”

“I don’t know. Romantic?”

“Ah, I see. When you’re trying to be romantic with Lily, it’s all artistry and verse. When you’re trying to be romantic with _me_ it’s cornering me on the floor and begging for favors.”

Sirius frowned, incredulous. “Are you… you aren’t _jealous_ , right? Tell me I’m reading this wrong.”

“Of course I’m _fucking jealous_ ,” Remus snapped. Some dam within him broke and words tumbled out like floodwater that had been allowed to stand for weeks: dark and dirty and full of dead things. “How could I not be? We kiss — we _finally kiss_ — and immediately afterward the only thing you want in the whole world is Lily. How do you _think_ that would feel? Really? How am I supposed to feel? I know it’s not your fault and I know you were drugged and I know… I…” his words slowed as they had to work around the lump in his throat. “I know you love her, or think you do. And I know things will never be the same between us. And I know you’re sick. But — God, Sirius — did you think for a second — _for a single fucking second_ — how it felt to be used like that?”

“I’m so, so, sorry,” Sirius whispered, his own eyes bright with tears. “I wasn’t thinking…”

“I know you weren’t,” Remus sobbed.

“I still… there isn’t an excuse. I… Remus, if you want me to stop… If you don’t want me to pursue this,” he gestured between them, “anymore. I won’t. I’ll respect that. But I love you. I love you _so_ much and I never want to hide that. I’ll step back and give you space and whatever else you want, but I need you to know that I love you.”

Remus couldn’t bring himself to say anything but, “I love you, too.”

“Do you want me to…?” Sirius started to pull away.

“No,” Remus said, his hands going to Sirius’s waist and holding him firm. “No,” he repeated, softer. “I want you to say.”

They remained in that awkward embrace for a few minutes. Remus could feel Sirius’s ragged breathing against his own. Sirius placed small, chaste kisses to whatever skin he could reach and Remus did the same.

There was a loud bubbling sound from the hearth and Remus checked his watch. “Shit.”

“What?” Sirius asked, untangling himself. “What is it?”

“The pot. I’m running late. I need to…”

But as he tried to get up, the potion exploded, sending bits of the cauldron in every direction. Sirius jumped on top of him and Remus heard a groan and something that sounded like a bone breaking.

-/-

There was no way around it, Sirius had to go to the hospital wing.

Remus helped him over, through the paths and across the grounds and up the corridors, thanking Merlin and Morgana and whoever else that they ran into none of their friends. With luck, they’d be in and out and back to the Shack before any questions could be raised.

So of course that didn’t happen.

Sirius was mending and resting on the bed, and there was some stir when he also came barging through the hospital wing doors, collar a mess, tie askew. Cassandra Cunningham was right behind him, pressing a cold compress to her wrist.

Sirius and Sirius blinked at each other.

Everyone else didn’t know where to look: they’d stare at Sirius, glance back at Sirius, return their attention to Sirius…

“Mr… Mr. Black,” Madam Pomfrey began, her eyes never settling on either. “What is the meaning of this?” Even as she said the words, she sat Cassandra down on a free bed and started examining her wrist.

“Uh…” Peter-Sirius said. “I… uh…”

“I’m sorry, Madam Pomfrey,” Sirius-Sirius said. “I took some polyjuice potion for a lark and was hoping it wouldn't be revealed. I’m actually Peter.”

“Seriously?” Madam Pomfrey asked, hands on her hips.

Sirius-Sirius glared at Peter-Sirius. “Dead serious.”

Madam Pomfrey gave them another glance, then returned her attention to Cassandra, waving her wand over the sprain. “How does that feel? Better?”

Cassandra looked a little surprised by her question, her attention still focused on the two Siriuses. Remus was in all appearances a silent, impartial observer, though his brain felt like radio static.“Yes,” she said after a moment. “That feels much better.”

Madam Pomfrey smiled. “It was a minor sprain. Shouldn’t be bothering you from now on, though you’ll want to be careful with it for a day or two.”

As they spoke, Peter-Sirius had started to attempt a retreat.

“Mr. Pettigrew.”

Peter-Sirius stopped on instinct.

“Yes, ma’am?” Sirius-Sirius said before Peter-Sirius could say anything else.

Madam Pomfrey gave Sirius-Sirius a stern look. “I’m sure you know that use of polyjuice potion by students is off limits.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Sirius-Sirius said, ernest. Remus had to bite his lips to keep himself from smiling.

Madam Pomfrey sighed. “Then I suppose you’ll have to wait here until you turn back. I’ll contact Professor McGonnegal and she can see to discipline as we see fit. Mr. Lupin, please watch over your friends until then. Mr. Black, you are free to go.”

“I… right…” Peter-Sirius said. “I’ll… right.”

Madam Pomfrey gave them one last confused look and turned away, muttering, “ _teenagers_ ,” as she left.

Cassandra looked over at Peter-Sirius. “I guess we should go, then?”

“I… uh…”

“Sirius,” Sirius-Sirius said. “Can we talk first? I know you’re feeling weird about the fact that I’m wearing your face.”

“Well…”

“And your body…”

“Uh…”

“My, all the things I could have done as you. Feels unpleasant just to think about it.”

“I mean…”

“So I wanted to apologize for pretending to be you. And since I have to stay in bed until the potion wears out so I can receive my punishment, it would be easier if you hung back for a bit.”

“Right,” Peter-Sirius said. He turned to Cassandra, who was looking at Sirius-Sirius with a certain glint in her eye. “So, I guess I’ll catch up with you later.”

Cassandra smiled at Sirius-Sirius. “You know, Peter, I never knew you were so… upstanding. I mean, apologizing to your friend like that, accepting the consequences...”

Sirius-Sirius shrugged, the very picture of integrity. “It’s the right thing to do. You can’t just use your friends. Trust is the very heart of friendship.”

Peter-Sirius and Remus exchanged a look. Remus was choking down his laughter. Peter-Sirius looked like he wanted to turn into a rat and stay that way.

Cassandra laughed. “You’re talking like you’re some sort of banner at the auror department. Never knew you were this serious.”

The man on the bed smiled.

“Cassandra,” he said, “I’m always serious.”

-/-

Remus strolled along the path towards the Willow, a large black dog trotting along at his side. Padfoot pressed against his leg, and Remus scratched him behind the ear. After they’d politely kicked Cassandra out of the hospital wing and Peter slipped into the bed to await his fate, it was decided that the safest next step was to take the dog for a walk.

It was a nice day, so Remus decided to take the long way around, figuring Padfoot would enjoy the fresh air.

“Hey! Who’s this handsome little guy?”

_Shit. Shit shit shit._

“Lily!” Remus exclaimed with a plastered on smile. “Hi.”

Padfoot pressed closer to Remus’s legs, glancing between Remus and Lily, dark eyes unsure.

“It’s okay, puppy,” Lily cooed, crouching down to get at the dog. “I don’t bite. You want scratches?” She made the universal symbol for scratches and Padfoot went over to sniff her.

“Aww,” she said, smiling up at Remus, “he’s friendly. Where’d he come from?”

Remus shrugged, plastering a smile onto his face. “He’s just a local stray. James never told you about the dog?”

Lily shook her head. “No, aww, you want kisses?” She scratched Padfoot’s ears as he licked at her face. “He’s so cute!”

“Mmmm…”

“Who’s a handsome boy?” she asked Padfoot, who’d flopped onto his stomach to accept an enthusiastic belly rub. “Who’s a handsome boy?”

“If you keep talking like that, it’ll go to his head,” Remus said, watching Padfoot’s tail kick up a small cloud of dust as he beat it on the ground.

“Awww… but look at him. He’s such a good boy, isn’t he? So polite and handsome and well behaved. You must have trained him well.”

“Oh,” Remus said, smirking, “we tried.”

“Hey,” Lily noticed, her eyes falling down to the area beside Padfoot’s tail. “He isn’t neutered. If he’s a stray, we should probably take him down to the vet’s to get that taken care of, don’t you think?”

The dog’s merry wiggling had ceased, and his bushy black tail curled up between his hind legs. Remus bit back a grin as Padfoot flipped over onto his back and returned to Remus’s side.

“Nah,” Remus said, scratching Padfoot behind the ear. “I think Sirius would get angry at us if we did. He has a strange attachment to the dog’s virility.”

Padfoot let out a little huffing grunt. Lily looked disapproving. “That’s very irresponsible,” she said.

“Ah, well, Sirius…” Remus shrugged, figuring that was explanation enough. “Sirius,” he repeated.

Padfoot braved another one of Lily’s scratches, though only behind his ears. “How is he, by the way?” she asked. “Never thought I’d say this, but I miss the man.”

“He’s alright,” Remus said. “Actually… I need to go check on him now…”

“Right,” Lily said. “Well, I’ll see you later, little guy.” She got to her feet. Padfoot lingered for a moment, and she gestured over towards Remus. “Go on, love. Go to your daddy.”

Remus blanched but Padfoot ran over to him, and followed obediently along the path. Padfoot turned back into Sirius once they got back to the Shack, and together they started repairing the damage left by the cauldron’s explosion.

“So…” Remus started after a moment. “How do you feel about Lily? Now that you’ve seen her.”

“Before or after she started talking about chopping my bollocks off?”

Remus snorted. “I wouldn’t have let her.”

“Yeah, _daddy_?” Sirius asked with a quirked brow. “Because I’ve been such a _good boy_?”

Remus threw a pillow at him, face burning. Sirius laughed.

“You really think you’re better?” Remus asked, hoping against hope.

“I… yeah,” Sirius said, frowning at his reflection in the window. “I think I am.”

-/-

“Alright,” James had said later, when they told him about everything that had happened that day. “Family meeting.”

They were sitting in a circle in the Shack. James had brought a chalkboard.

“First item on the agenda,” he said, writing _Peter_ on the board. “Peter,” he said, turning to the man in question, “what the fuck? We said no dating.”

“I’m sorry! I was on my way back from the class I had as Sirius and she flagged me down.” He glanced over at Sirius. “She was angry that you didn’t show up to your date.”

“Don’t look at me,” Sirius said with crossed arms, jerking his head towards Remus, “Moony’s the one who stood her up.”

Remus rolled her eyes. “Only because you were in trouble.”

Sirius let out a barking laugh. “ _I_ was only in trouble because of that stupid hair-brained scheme you pulled.”

“We only pulled it because you drank the weird, random, suspicious whiskey someone left at the door!”

“Right,” Sirius huffed. “It’s all my fault. Allow me to formally apologize for getting roofied by my brother.”

“The only person at fault is Regulus. And Snivellous,” James amended with a shrug. “But Regulus has already tried to make amends and, well, Snivellus can’t bare to be in the same room as us since… well, since fifth year.So…”

“So,” they chorused.

“So that sort of leads us to the next item on the agenda,” James said, returning to the board, “Lily,” he added a little swirling flourish to the _y_ at the end of her name. “You think you’ve… recovered?”

“Well I didn’t try to hump her leg,” Sirius said, sardonically, “and I’m usually trying to hump Moony’s.”

Peter cleared his throat.James just shrugged like Sirius had said the most sensible thing in the world.Remus flicked his ear, cheeks burning. 

Sirius tossed him a smile, rubbing the side of his head. “So it’s definitely _progress_.”

“So you didn’t feel any… _other_ … urges?” James gave an academic looking flourish of the chalk. “I mean… to what exact extent did you feel attraction? Out of one hundred? Twenty? Thirty? She’s Lily and you like girls, so I doubt it’s ever zero.”

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. “Are you asking what percentage of me wants to fuck her? James, you’re my best mate. There literally is no correct answer to that question.”

James looked like he was going to say something, but deflated. He scratched the back of his neck. “You’re right. Okay. Yeah. So.”

“So,” they all said again.

“So what would it take to prove that I’m fit to re-enter polite society?” Sirius asked.

“We could bring Lily in,” Remus said. “He didn’t lose control today, or anything. We’ll all be there. We’ll all have wands. Lily’ll have a wand. If she consents to it, it may be the best way to know.”

James didn’t look quite comfortable with the idea. “Sirius,” he began, voice taking on a much more somber tone.

Sirius was still lounging back in his chair. “Mmm?”

“How would you have reacted if you’d actually encountered Lily. You know, _earlier_?”

All the sarcasm was gone from Sirius’s face. He didn’t look James in the eye. “I don’t know,” he said. “And I’m sort of glad that I don’t.”

The room fell silent for a moment.

Eventually Remus decided to break it. He clapped his hands. “Right,” he began, a bit uncertain, “so I guess we’ll go talk to her?”

“Yeah,” James said, through it sounded more like resignation than agreement.

“First though,” Peter observed, looking around the room, “we should probably put away all these nude portraits.”

-/-

They’d never told Lily exactly why they had such easy access to the Shack, and Lily never asked. She seemed to sense that there were some things she simply didn’t need to know about. Or maybe she’d known them long enough to simply accept the possibility that the four of them commandeered the most haunted building in Britain and used it for their own purposes.Remus had no particular problem with her knowing, but there was something nice about getting to exist as something other than “the werewolf” of the group when she was around.

When they’d asked her to come to the Shack to test Sirius’s condition, she’d agreed without hesitation.

James and Peter and Remus were all strategically positioned by windows and doors, wands at hand. Lily’s wand was tucked into her boot. Sirius’s was locked in a drawer.

Sirius and Lily stood five paces away from one another, eyes appraising.

“So…” Lily began, clearing her throat. “I hear you’ve had… quite the month.”

“Mmmm,” Sirius agreed, a bit stilted.

“Are you… I mean…” she looked at their audience, “how are we supposed to determine whether he’s ‘cured’ or not?”

“Do you feel odd?”

Sirius glared at Peter. “I’m surrounded by all of my friends, who are armed and expecting me to jump someone I’ve known since I was eleven. Of course I feel odd.”

“Right,” Peter cast his eyes down.

“What if we kissed?” Lily suggested. “And saw how you feel?”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” James asked, perhaps a little too quickly. “I mean…” he trailed off.

Remus agreed, though he didn’t voice his opinion.

“Do you have any other ideas?” Lily asked with a quirked brow, though she was blushing.

“Ah, Lils,” Sirius asked, uneasy laugh cutting through the space, “if you’ve wanted to kiss me this whole time, you could have just asked.”

“Shut it, Black.” And she kissed him. Just a quick peck. They both stepped away from the kiss, wide-eyed and staring at each other.

Lily cleared her throat. “So…?”

“Uh…” Sirius looked around the room. His cheeks started to color. “I mean… I’m not totally sure how I’m supposed to feel.”

“That’s probably a good sign,” Lily said, glancing around the room. Her blush was up to her hairline. “Right?”

“Uh… right,” James said. “So I don’t think you have to do it again.”

“Right,” Lily said. “So… uh… do you need my help with anything else?”

“Not unless you want to help me pack,” Sirius said, looking around excitedly. “Does the committee think I can finally be trusted to sleep in my own goddamned bed?”

He was looking at James, who shuffled on his feet. “I think it should… should be okay… right Moony? Wormtail?”

Remus and Peter nodded dumbly.

“Great,” Sirius said.

“Glad I could help, then,” Lily said, awkwardly easing her way towards the door.“If you don’t need anything else from me…”

They all just shook their head.

With an awkward, uncertain smile, she left.

“That’s it, then,” James said quietly.“That’s just… it?”

The moment stank of anticlimax, and the four of them didn’t know what to do.

Eventually, though, Sirius just started packing away his things, and they all helped, quiet and uncertain.

They walked back to the castle, their newfound freedom slowly settling in.A sort of Christmas morning giddiness was threatening to take hold of Remus.He cast glances over at Sirius, who spent the entire trek smiling up at the sky.

-/-

Peter had detention that night, due to his rather egregious use of poly juice potion.As a result, James and Remus were the only ones available to help him unpack.

Remus in particular had been tasked with slowly and methodically tossing every illicit piece of Lily-themed erotica into the fire.The collection was extensive.

James was seeing to his laundry, which included convincing house elves to bring up some fresh bedding.Bedding Sirius immediately imprinted upon, it seemed.

“Oh my sweetest, sweetest love.The finest thing I ever did see.If ever I cannot have you, I shall die…”Sirius jumped on his bed and started moving like he intended to make a snow angel.Or maybe a baby.

“Drinking more whiskey?” James asked, resting the laundry basket on his hip like a mother cradling a baby.

“Too soon, man,” Remus said, tossing a balled up poem about Lily’s butt and tossing it at his head.

“If you _ever_ lock me in that flea-infested pit again, I will personally remove your testicles and use them for beater practice,” Sirius said matter of factly as he and the pillow had what could only be described as a _moment_.

“Deal,” James said.“I don’t think I have the heart for it.I’m…” he scratched the back of his neck, “I really am sorry, Pads.We didn’t handle everything as best as we could have.

“No,” Sirius agreed, setting the pillow down, “you didn’t.”For a second he looked like he was going to say more, but he changed his mind.He smiled condescendingly at James.“No go run along to Lily.Moony and I need to get indelicate together.”

Remus made a choking sound.“Do I get any say in this?” he asked, yelping as Sirius pulled him down on the bed.

“Of course,” Sirius said, wicked glint in his eyes.“Is that you saying no?”

Remus looked over Sirius’s shoulder.“James…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” James waved a dismissive hand over towards them, muttering something about putting a tie on the door.Remus wasn’t sure.He couldn’t hear it over the sound of Sirius yanking the curtain shut.

Remus looked up at Sirius, whose smile had gotten more sincere… though no less lusty.“We’re alone.”

“Alone,” Remus echoed.

“In a bed.”

“A bed,” Remus agreed.

“Took us long enough,” Sirius muttered.

Remus pulled his lips down into a fierce, commanding kiss.Sirius yielded happily, his fingers going to Remus’s hair.Remus moved on top of him, smiling against his mouth.“I love you,” he whispered, the hope he’d been feeling all afternoon boiling over in him.

“I love you, too,” Sirius replied, placing a surprisingly chaste kiss to his temple.

And for that single moment of quiet and warmth, Remus felt pure and unadulterated joy.No suspicion of future misfortune, no doubt of present bliss.The moment was like medicine and he wanted to drink it all.

Their clothes were quickly dispatched, and eventually it was skin against skin, nothing between them.Sirius kissed along his body, whispering something Remus couldn’t hear against his skin.Remus decided it was poetry.Eventually he took Remus in his mouth, and Remus hissed at the heat of it.He held still, all that iron will finally put to good use as he let Sirius taste and explore him.Sirius sighed around him, swallowed and took more of him.All that he could.Remus shuddered as he found his release.

Sirius smiled up at him, and Remus flipped them over.

He tasted himself on Sirius when he brought their lips back together.He reached between them and tugged on Sirius’s length, swallowing down all of his pleasured moans and hitched breaths.Sirius let out a broken cry when Remus brought him off quickly, panting against his neck as Remus waved his wand and cleaned them off.

They laid in an easy embrace as their breath slowed, and eventually they fell asleep.

-/-

Sirius’s first day back at school went about as well as could be expected. He’d fallen behind in all his studies, which was something he wasn’t used to. More than once a professor referenced something clever or erudite he’d said in a previous class, and Sirius simply nodded along, stumped as they were at his sudden ignorance.

He’d actually gone to the library and _studied_ during their free period, something he’d always been smug about not having to do.

Remus, who was helping him with his remedial N.E.W.T. prep, watched in wonder as Sirius started writing notes on their assigned reading. At one point, he even pulled out a new piece of parchment and started drafting a _study guide_.

"Alright," Remus said, tapping his quill against his chin. "Which one are you? Lily? Surely you're Lily."

Sirius gave him a look. "What happened to, _too soon_?"

"It doesn't count when I'm the one who's making the joke."

"Right."

"I'll make it up to you later."

Sirius gave him a wicked smile, then went back to studying.

They went on in companionable silence for a while, but then Remus sensed Sirius tensing across the table.

He looked up at saw the source of the shift.

Regulus was walking down the hall, by their table.

The two brothers made uncomfortable eye contact.

Regulus spoke first. "Lemme guess... James?" He'd regained his aristocratic affect, chin up, wry quirk to his brow.

Sirius's expression was nearly identical. "Would James know that you wet the bed on a regular basis until you were twelve?"

Color flooded Regulus's cheeks, but he just forced a cold smile. "Welcome back, brother."

"Am I to anticipate an apology?"

"Blacks don't apologize," Regulus said with a wave of his hand as he started to saunter away, "especially not to those who have but their own foolishness to blame for their misfortune. The old whiskey bottle trick, really?"

Sirius looked like he was seriously considering hexing him, but he never reached for his wand.

"Fuck," Remus commented once Regulus was properly gone.

"Whatever," Sirius said, picking up his quill again.

"I'm surprised you didn't do anything," Remus said.

"It wouldn't matter," Sirius said. "He's too far gone. And besides, the last thing I need right now is a detention. If we defeat Slytherin in the next game, that'll have to be revenge enough.

Remus nodded dumbly, but his thoughts went back to the open horror on Regulus's face that night by the Willow. The rush to Slughorn's to confess to something he hadn't done.

He wasn't so sure Regulus was completely gone after all, but he wasn't going to press the matter. He picked up the quill and returned to the studies, certain nothing would come of it.


	5. In Which a Wager Is Won

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for nothing. This is mostly fluff.
> 
> Two chapters in one day. Because consistent posting schedules are for chumps.
> 
> That's a lie. The only chump here is me.

_A few months later…_

Remus and Sirius walked side by side down the main street in Hogsmeade, pulling each other towards this display or that.Other students milled about doing the same.They were not remarked upon.

That was probably, Remus figured, because they weren’t holding hands, or doing anything even remotely couple-like.Sirius was calling it a date, but he’d said he didn’t want to “go public,” just yet, sighting something vague and uncertain about his family or _not_ _being ready_ or something else that Remus had nodded along with, swallowing down the sense of unease that rose in his stomach.

If Sirius wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready.Remus would respect that.Even if he really, really wanted to hold his hand.

“Sirius!”

They both turned at the familiar voice.

Cassandra Cunningham was hanging off the arm of some Slytherin seven-year Remus half-recognized, her face split in a wide grin.“Have you seen the window at Honeydukes?They managed to make a full zodiac out of cordials.”

“Yeah, Cassie,” Sirius said, smile somewhat plastered on.There were only about five shops in the whole town.“It was… really nice.”

Cassandra didn’t seem to sense their discomfort.“Have you seen Peter recently?He was going to meet us for a double date at the Three Broomsticks, but I haven’t seen him, or Selene.”

Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance.They generally knew when Peter had a date, yet it seemed he’d neglected to tell him about this one.

“No,” Remus said, “we didn’t even know he was coming to Hogsmeade tonight.I’m… I’m sure he’s around.”

Cassandra cast a final look about, but shrugged it off.“Well, let us know if you see him, okay?” she asked after a cursory search of the small crowd of students.“I’m dying for some tea.Let’s go, Magnus.”

She led her date towards the pub like he was a dog she was maneuvering away from a particularly interestingly scented tree.

Remus and Sirius stared after her.“Do you think she’s using a love potion on him?” Remus whispered, only half joking.

“Nah,” Sirius said.“I doubt it.He’s too… stoic.”

“I wonder how she managed to ask him out.”

“Probably blackmail.Speaking of… where _is_ Peter?And why didn’t he tell us he had a date?”

“You don’t think he’s going as you again?”

“I mean… by now I think he’d know I’d kill him.He wouldn’t,” uncertainly flickered across Sirius’s face, but he shook his head.Repressed it.“No, he wouldn’t.I know he wouldn’t… right?”

“Hey!”Peter said, himself, just in time.There was a girl that Remus barely knew — Selene, Cassandra had said —at his side.“How’s the da— he cleared his throat at Sirius’s death glare.“How’s your day been?”

“Good,” Sirius said, casting an unreadable look towards Remus before turning back towards them, smiling blandly.

Remus felt something in his stomach sink.

Selene didn’t seem to notice.“So are you ready for the game next week?You must be nervous.”

They all were, but Sirius shrugged it off with his usual bravado.“Nah, my kid brother is the seeker, what’s the worse that could happen?”

Remus raised an eyebrow.“They could win the Cup, like they did last year?When you kid brother caught the snitch.”

“Fluke.Defective snitch,” Sirius said with a dismissive wave of his hand, though Remus knew it was getting to him.He had stayed up late with James the night before, practicing in the pitch to make up for all the time he had lost.

“Hey,” Peter said, glancing in the window of the Three Broomsticks, “I think they’ve already arrived.Shall we go join them?”

He ushered her away, casting a brief, unreadable glance back at the two of them, before disappearing into the door.

“Recon we should go and keep an eye on them?” Sirius asked.

“What are they going to do?” Remus asked with a shrug of his arms.“Sneak out some night?Disguise themselves as random strangers?Rut like a couple of animals on one of the walking paths?”

“Of course not,” Sirius sniffed.“Peter has entirely too much class.”

“Indeed.”

“Ever wonder if we should reprise our old alter egos?”

“Mmm?”

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows.“Freddie and Ernie might enjoy another excursion out to Hogsmeade, you know?Catch up with that old chap… oh,” he effected his accent, “what was his name?Scouse-corn?Slug-born?Slum-lord?”

“I believe it was Stud-horn,” Remus responded in Ernie’s sloppy Bristol accent.

“Oh, my dear, that’s just terrible.”

“Sluse-corn?”

“Slug-morn?”

“Slung-thorn.Slickborn?Sendporn?”

“Yes, please.”

Remus snorted.

“Either way, I’d like to check in with him on the goings on at our old alma mater.I wonder what that Black lad and his friend — that Lupin fellow — are getting up to these days?”

“Sir, I am certain he doesn’t know.”

“When did not knowing ever stop an old gossip?” Sirius asked with a quirk of his brow.

Remus acknowledged his point with a nod.“True, though I’m afraid I’m a bit polyjuiced out these days.”

Sirius let out a little breathy laugh.“Now that you mention it, I think I may be getting a little tired of potions too.”

Eventually they decided to go to the Three Broomsticks for some butterbeer.They made easy conversation, and neither of them brought up any plans of being anything but who they were.

-/-

“AND WELCOME TO THE MOST ANTICIPATED GAME OF THE YEAR — GRYFFINDOR VS SLYTHERIN!”

The crowd screamed in reply, and Remus felt a small smile come to his lips.“I HOPE YOU ALL BROUGHT BLANKETS AND BUTTERBEER, OR MAYBE SOMETHING A LITTLE STRONGER — “

“Mr. Lupin…” McGonagall began.

Damn, Remus thought.Ten seconds.That had to be some sort of record.

“SUCH AS A NICE, BRACING CUP OF TEA, BECAUSE THIS IS SHAPING UP TO BE A LONG ONE.”

The teams made their appearance — a flurry of scarlet this way, an elegant line of emerald that.“AND SPEAKING OF LONG ONES, IT APPEARS THAT SIRIUS BLACK HAS A NEW BROOM.”

“Lupin.”

“WHAT PROFESSOR?”Remus asked, closer to the mic than was strictly necessary at that moment.“I’M JUST COMMENTING ON THE LENGTH OF HIS BROOM.IT’S SIZABLE.”

“Remus.”

“CONSIDERABLE.”

“I’m warning you…”

“WHY, ANY SELF RESPECTING QUIDDITCH PLAYER WOULD BE MORE THAN SATISFIED TO HAVE SUCH A PIECE BETWEEN THEIR LEGS.”

“Just narrate the game, Lupin,” McGonagall said.Dumbledore was sitting directly behind her, his eyes glittering.

Titters rose up from the stands, and Sirius did a little swoop around the pitch, angling his broom in a cooperatively suggestive way.

McGonagall just let out a long-suffering sigh, and Remus turned back to the task at hand.

“AND UP GOES THE QUAFFEL, QUICKLY TAKEN INTO POSSESSION BY SPENCER, HEADING OVER TOWARDS SLYTHERIN TERRIRORY!WILL LLOYD BE ABLE TO BLOCK IT — AGH, IT APPEARS THE ANSWER TO THAT IS YES, UNFORTUNATELY.”

“Lupin.”

“I MEAN, FORTUNATELY.FINE BIT OF SPORTSMANSHIP THERE.AS AN UNINTERESTED THIRD PARTY, I CAN’T SAY I HAVE STRONG FEELINGS ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.”

And so the game wore on, Remus let his mouth run free with only the barest filter (he and Sirius had plans that evening, plans that didn’t involve McGonagall making him file all her old transfiguration syllabi).Nervous energy thrummed in his stomach. 

Sirius had been just as excitable all morning, partly because of the game, but partly because, as he’d put it to Remus that morning over breakfast, “I have a big surprise for you after we win.”

“Oh?” Remus had cocked an eyebrow and done everything he could to avoid looking too keen.“And what do you have for me if you lose?”

Sirius had pouted.“C’mon, Moony.That’s impossible.”

And then he’d spent the whole day skating the topic.James had told him to stay away from the Shack when he realized he’d forgotten a jumper there.Peter had been avoiding him, which meant he’d been told to keep a secret and had no faith in his ability to do so.

And so all there was for Remus to do was wait.

Which was fine.He could wait.He had a job to do.

“AND GIBSON TAKES POSSESSION OF THE — OH MY, IS THAT THE SNITCH I SPY?IT LOOKS LIKE OUR — GRYFFINDOR’S — SEEKER HAS CAUGHT THE SCENT, WITH REGULUS BLACK HOT ON HIS TAIL…”

Regulus just barely managed to dodge the blunger his brother sent his way.

“OOH, AND WITH A SLICK MANOUVER FROM THE ELDER BLACK, IT APPEARS THE SLYTHERIN SEEKER HAS FALLEN A BIT BEHIND.WILL GRYFFINDOR BE ABLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT LEAD?”

Surely the surprise was something small, Remus thought, watching the Gryffindor seeker groan with annoyance as the snitch flitted out of view.He was probably over playing it.He and Sirius weren’t even officially “seeing” each other.At least, not as far as anyone else knew.And there was lots of speculation all over the school about how strangely Sirius had been acting for the last few weeks.

No, there was no point in getting his hopes up.

“AND POTTER SINKS ANOTHER GOAL.THAT’S 50-30, WITH GRYFFINDOR HOLDING A NARROW LEAD.”

But it could also be something big, couldn’t it?Sirius wasn’t one for doing things by halves, and he’d appeared genuinely excited about whatever it was.And if they were all in on it, except for him, surely…”

“OOH, AND GRYFFINDOR’S JAMES POTTER JUST BARELY EVADES A RATHER NASTY APPROACH FROM THE ENEMY BLUDGER.GOOD THING IT DIDN’T HIT HIM AT THAT ANGLE, I DO BELIEVE HE INTENDS TO HAVE CHILDREN.”

But really, what was the point in getting his hopes up?Surely it wasn’t as big as any of the things he’d been thinking about.Surely it wasn’t something big and romantic, or public, or anything… surely…

He was pulled from his thoughts when —

“MCKAY HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH!GRYFFINDOR WINS!”

The scarlet portion of the stands erupted in the loudest cheer yet, and Remus looked to his friends, expecting them to start their victory lap.

But they weren’t doing that.Instead, they were looking down.

Remus’s eyes followed theirs, and he frowned in confusion as Peter ran along the grass of the pitch, a big box in his arms.He set it down and Remus recognized it as the crate they’d been keeping some of the stolen potion ingredients in.

Peter ran back into the stands, and above him, Sirius pulled something out from his quidditch robes.He flew up high, higher than his previous broom would have even allowed, and as he did that, James started to shoo the other players — who all looked dumbstruck as Remus felt — away from the pitch.

Eventually, when he was little more than a distant speck in the sky, Sirius threw whatever he had in his hand down towards the crate.

It erupted in something like fireworks.Light danced and whirled in every direction, but amid all the chaos, seven words were clear as day:

**I AM IN LOVE WITH REMUS LUPIN**

For once in his entire career as a commentator, Remus had nothing to say into his mic.

Sirius flew down to the space directly in front of him, and pulled him into a smiling, tear-wet kiss.The stands were awash with cheers and laughter, but through all of it and the pounding in his ears, Remus was still able to hear the sound of coins changing hands in the professor’s seats behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed my silly little potion fic, folks! Thanks for sticking around!


End file.
